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I got a new phone this weekend.  WOO HOOO!  The previous one was only a year old.  It did what I needed it to do, call and text.  The big problem was, it gave me ear problems.  Some how the frequency of the speaker made my ear hurt.  So I traded it for a new Centro.  I must say I’m in love!.  I text my friend SS, “I’m addicted and in love with my phone”.  It does everything I need it to do and things I couldn’t dream of.  On my old phone I could go days with out talking on it and would never miss it.  So now I’m thinking it’s been 10 days and counting.  Yes, I’ve gone 10 days with out sex.  I’m sure some of my loyal readers can’t believe it.  Is something wrong with me? NO!  Actually, I’m doing great.  Am I changing my approach?  Not totally.  I’m sure I have several options in my new cell phone.  I could text, email, or even call to arrange several dates.  That’s not my issue.  My issue is the type of woman I’m looking for.  As I’ve become older, my list of requirements have been come more stringent.  Years ago I would accept a woman who smokes.  Not any longer.  Thursday Nigel asked me about my date with PM40 on Wednesday.  I told him it was a good date, but I found out she smokes occasionally.  Well, I’ve thought about it and I’ve brushed off better looking women because they smoked.  I don’t want kiss a ash tray every morning.  I don’t want to have my cloths smelling like smoke.  I surely don’t want to deal with other health issues later in life with the woman who didn’t take care of themselves.  I’ve taken some time lately to refine my expectations.  Ultimately, I would like to meet someone who takes their health seriously, who enjoys life, has a true sense of identity, and social awareness.  I’ve read my previous posts and really thought about the different things that made my dates attractive and what made them end.  It’s amazing that as much as you want to look past faults, we can’t.  It’s more than just taking care of our physical needs of sex.  It’s the conversation we have.  It’s the vacation we go on.  It’s our trust in our partner that makes our futures bond.  Some how I’m waiting for my new phone date.  I’m sure it will be great and it won’t hurt my ears.  But it’s the stuff that you don’t expect.  I don’t need someone to cook, clean, or help raise my kids.  I want all the other things that aren’t expected.  I’m sure when I find it, I’ll text my friend SS - “I’m hooked, I’m in love!” 

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 I'm Hooked, I'm in love [6:51m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (256)

I had such a great time on Saturday.  It was a full day of fun.  I had one of my oldest son with me, so it was a guy’s day.  We started the day out watching cartoons and eating cereal.  He doesn’t want me to cook breakfast on Saturday morning, it’s always a tradition to have cereal and watch Tom and Jerry.  Around 1pm we got dressed and headed to Starbucks.  I’ve noticed him growing up before my eyes.  He’s now paying attention to girls.  He’s a teenager now, so it’s natural.  I just wasn’t sure how much he’s into girls.  So we sat in the comfy chairs drinking, reading the newspaper and talking.  I asked him how many phone numbers he has in his cell phone.  He said 80.  I waited a couple minutes and said, how many are girls numbers.  He said he didn’t know, then he counted and said 25!  Damn.  Times have changed since I was a kid.  He laughed at me and called me old school.  So I approached it from the angle of what his friends do and talk about.  Do they have girl friends, do they think they’re a pimp, and do they talk about sex.  He tells me a couple have girl friends, and they don’t talk about sex, yet.  But he wouldn’t consider any of them a player.  So he begins to tell me he’s not interested in having a girl friend, he just wants friends.  He’s focusing on school, sports, going to college, and he dreams of playing in the NFL.  I was still in shock that in Jr. High School he has 25 girls phone numbers.  He tells me he doesn’t ask for ask for their numbers, they ask for his.  Is there a pattern starting?  I’ve always had great communication with him, so I decided to wait to have the come to Ali-Babba with him.  Instead I sat there and listened to him talk about how the girls at school act.  He also had plenty of stories of which girls all the boys liked.  I’m not sure if we ever get past someones appearances.  They notice how others dress, their hair, and act.  He made some great observations.  The biggest one is ‘I’m comfortable with myself, I don’t need a girl friend to have fun’.  Maybe that is what TR37 meant when she told me I was happy to be single.  Yes, I know it’s been a couple weeks, but that statement resonates in my memory.  I’m sure it wasn’t the easiest thing for her to say, but I respect her honesty.  Relationships, no matter what kind take honesty.  If you’re afraid to say what you feel, I’d recommend analyzing if you truly have a quality relationship.  Over the years, I’ve always remained true to myself and my feelings.  It’s not the easiest thing to do, but it’s the only way to live. 

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Thursday night was a busy night.  I originally made plans to meet MA41 after work.  That worked out well because my friend Nigel wanted to go out too.  So, I called MA41 and arranged to meet her at starbucks in Plano.  It was close to where I was going in Addison.  MA41 is divorced with adult children.  She’s from Oklahoma and has been in the Dallas area for a couple years.  She’s 5′6″ tall, thin build, and medium blond hair.  I don’t think I’ve met anyone as thin as her in a long time.  I bet she was a size 2.  That didn’t really bother me.  Her style of dress was country.  I don’t mean that in a bad way.  I mean she dressed in ropers and boots.  The reality is she’s a really nice girl.  She’s a simple girl at heart.  She enjoys cooking, music, karaoke, and playing darts.  I know she likes all kinds of music besides country.  We talked about going to Red River to country dance.  She’s out of practice, so I would have to practice with her.  We spent about a hour together.  I’m sure I will go out with her again, because she’s so relaxed.  As we were leaving she told me, ‘thanks for looking like your pictures’.  I had to laugh.  Of course we discussed the horror stories of people that don’t look like their pictures.  And we got a good laugh, when I told her I didn’t look 5′11″. 

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 Hide Me [9:25m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (256)

So it’s Wednesday evening.  I made plans with PM40 for a initial happy hour date.  We’ve been trying to coordinate our schedules for the last few weeks.  Every time we make plans, one of us can’t make it because of kids or work.  So this time we both cleared our schedules to make it work.  It was well worth it.  She had to meet a friend in Frisco, so we met around 6pm at On The Border in Plano.  Of course, I arrived early.  PM40 is exactly what she has portrayed herself to be.  What a relief.  She’s a 40 yrs old, divorced, 5′4″ tall.  She has a beautiful smile, brown eyes, shoulder length California blond hair.  Physically, she is petite and physically fit.  I was very impressed.  We greeted each other with a hug.  Immediately I smelled smoke in her hair.  I wasn’t sure if it was from the previous restaurant or if she actually smoked.  Anyway, we both ordered margaritas.  Our conversation was very free flowing.  We discussed her job and a few of her recent projects.  She’s in sales, so she is very competitive to be #1.  I like that.  That’s a attractive quality.  She asked me relevant questions about my kids and work.  After 45 minutes of conversation, I began to wonder, how is a beautiful woman like this remain single.  So she began to tell me about her dating experiences in Dallas.  She observed that a lot of the black men who date interracial know each other.  She was involved with someone for almost a year who didn’t want to be committed to her.  He wanted his cake and eat it too.  Finally, she decided that wasn’t her type of relationship.  She wants more.  I can totally understand that.  He told her she should go out and meet other people.  I suppose he was doing the same thing.  If anything like that happened to me, I would be jealous if I was really into the woman.  She also divulged what she finds attractive in a man.  She likes a clean cut man, with a goatee, great smile, well spoken, and can hold a conversation.  She likes a man who takes pride in his appearance, his car, and his surroundings.  She also likes his smooth, dark skin.  Wow!  Almost sounded like she was describing me.  At this point she reached over, touched my hand and arm.  She blushed.  I think she likes me.  Several times during the conversation she made contact with me.  First it was her hand, next it was her foot, and we made plenty of eye contact.  I must say, when two people are attracted to each other, there are some uncomfortable moments.  I found out she has similar tastes in men with a couple of her friends.  So, she wanted to show me a couple pictures of her friends to make sure I never dated one of them.  HAHA!  There was a couple times when they were interested in the same guy, and neither one of them knew about it.  So I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry.  Around 9pm we both had to go.   I walked her to the car and gave her another hug good-bye.   I know it’s early, but I did enjoy myself.  I hope to see her soon.  I just hope it doesn’t take a few more weeks to do so. 

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 Run To The Border [5:35m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (253)

Tuesday evening was a relaxing date at Starbucks.  I met RJ43 there.  RJ43 is a divorced 43 year old, 5′4″ tall with medium brown hair, dark brown eyed, Italian woman.  She has 2 wonderful children.  I met her 2 years ago.  We dated for a few months and then abruptly stopped.  There were several reasons why it happened, but mainly because of a miscommunication.  I was truly attracted to her and was trying to get to know her better when we stopped dating.  The last time I saw her was Mother’s Day last year.  I took her out for brunch, shopping and just spent the whole day with her.  Since then, she contacts me every few months to say hi.  She’s always friendly.  She even text me to tell me how much fun she had with me sexually.  I was surprised because I thought she had lost interest in me.  I found out from her, she thought I had lost interest in her also.  When she arrived, she gave me a big hug.  She looked a bit tired and worn out, but it was great to see her.  Starbucks is a great place to be relaxed and talk.  It’s a neutral place for both us.  There weren’t many people there, so we had plenty of privacy.  She and I caught up on  general stuff from the last year.  Some of the problems with her children, her non-existing dating life, and her work.  She wishes I lived in my old neighborhood.  It was only a couple blocks from her home.  It made it easy for us to date.  We called it being geographically desireable.  I know we have history, but for a brief moment I was focused on how much she’s aged and how much weight she’s gained in the last couple years.  I believe it’s because of stress.  I also began to wonder if we were spending time together just because of our unfinished past.  Was it because of our sexual energy?  I put that behind me, just relaxed and enjoyed her company.  I could tell she was a bit nervous, because when it was time to say good night, she wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.  I leaned over and gave her a hug, and gave her a gentle kiss.  Yes, the kiss was a good one.  The passion was still there.  I knew I shouldn’t seduce her.  I want to really give this relationship a fair chance of survival.  We made plans to go out for wine in 2 weeks.  I’m really looking forward to seeing her again. 

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Recently a faithful reader contacted me regarding my dating preferences.  JF26 is a black woman who reads my page daily.  She was curious about the diverse readers of the site.  I’m sure she was as surprised as most of you will be, there are quite a few black women reading my site.  Even though my writing is about my interactions with white women, it’s still about relationships between a man and woman.  Eventually JF26 wanted to know why I prefer dating white women and is there a specific reason why I don’t date black women.  So I will attempt to explain it the best I can. 

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 Why White Women [5:15m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (134)

Several readers have been asking questions regarding my obvious compulsive dating habits and my desire to find a long term relationship.  My behavior seems to be a total conflict.  Well for me to answer this I’ll have to give you a little insight on how I got to this point.  How did I get here emotionally?  It has only been the last few years that I’ve dated with the regularity that you are reading about.  About 10 years ago, I had a monogamous relationship with a JS40.  JS40 was only 30 years old at the time.  She’s 5′5″ tall, brunette, and green eyes.  She was divorced with 2 children.  She’s never dated black men before.  We started out as friends, but it developed into more.  She had a hard time dealing with her family when they found out about me.  This relationship ended when she moved to Seattle.  I was shocked.  But I dealt with it and moved on.  We’ve maintained a strong friendship over the years.  Every now and then we see each other for a romantic weekend.  I know that’s probably not healthy emotionally, but it sure is fun.

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My plans on Sunday changed because I didn’t feel like going on another date.  I know you think it’s because of my hectic dating schedule.  It’s not.  The fact is, over the years I’ve been in and out of relationships with women.  Some of them I was emotionally involved with and others were just passing the time.  There are several that I will never forget for one reason or the other.  There has been some behind the blog conversations with a few of these women over the last couple weeks.  There are about 6  that I truly adore and considered long term relationships with them at one time.  The pattern has been, every 6-9 months they contact me (phone calls), claiming they still love me.  Something in their mind or memory makes them think of me.  They begin to miss me and reminisce.  Or that’s my guess from what they tell me.  I get plenty of compliments about my personality, my charm, passion, sense of humor, and etc.  But somehow that’s not enough for them to be in a long term relationship.  Some how I’ve been labeled as the ‘go to guy’.  It could be they are comfortable with me emotionally, sexually, and socially.  I have no clue.  I know they travel to see me, since they now live in different parts of the country.  Why do I allow this?  In some ways I’m flattered.  In some cases, I also miss them also and wish things were different.  Sometimes, spending time with them gives me some kind of inner peace.  The one thing it does, it leaves me feeling more alone that I started. Is it too much to ask that she’s intelligent, attractive, physically fit, emotionally stable, socially active, and white?  If I had my choice, I’d have a dream woman to have a long term relationship with.  It just takes finding one that will want to have one with me. 

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Saturday’s weather was beautiful.  I spent most of the day relaxing, writing, and enjoying the warm sun.  I was in Addison most of the afternoon.  There’s a lot of single people in that area, so it’s a good place to meet people.  Originally I didn’t have any plans for Saturday night.  I came home to shower and get dressed to go out.  I was pleasantly surprised to get a email from HF48, who wanted to go out.  HF48 is a 48 year old divorced woman.  She’s 5′3″ tall, long blond hair, brown eyes, petite, great hips and ass. Physically, she’s attractive.  She’s a English teacher and plays tennis regularly.  Our plan was to play pool and have a couple drinks.  We agreed to meet at Cafe Geko in West Plano.  It’s a nice trendy bar with a great location.  I’ve driven by this place before, but this was my 1st time there.  It’s definitely a 30’s crowd.  HF48 arrived 15 minutes after I did.  I met her last week at the tennis center.  She seemed nice and you never know what could happen.  Well, this was the most normal part of the evening.  Within 5 minutes, I realized she was a emotional mess.  She’s normally dates younger men.  Somehow the younger man offers her more energy, physically in better shape, and more sexual presence.  Her fears is they will lose interest in her and move on to a younger woman.  She is dealing with a internal conflict.  Younger men also bring younger children.  All of her children are adults, and she doesn’t want to start over with young children again.  She thinks in a couple years, she will be no longer desirable to date for younger or older men.  Basically, she has a long list of issues.  It was overwhelming.  Honestly, I needed another beer!  I’m not sure how someone could unload all of this on the 1st date, within the 1st hour.  Most of the time I was listening to her.  I barely spoke about myself or anything else.  I must admit, this saved me a lot of time.  I would rather know right away that someone has issues, than to find out weeks later.  I knew that she wasn’t a compatible love connection for me.  So I suggested we leave Geko and go somewhere different.  She was opposed to this idea, but it was the only way for me to make it known that I didn’t have any romantic interest.  It also made it known to everyone at Geko, we’re not a couple.  You never know if I decide to go back there on a different night to hang out.  The only thing I had on my mind was to make the best of a bad situation and possibly have some company for the next couple hours.  So we left and went to another bar in Dallas to play pool.   Going to the next bar changed the whole mood of the evening.  Maybe it was obvious that I would be a better friend than a mate.  HF48 is a rare case.  Emotionally, she is juvenile and fragile.  After a couple hours of playing pool, I ended the night with a big hug and a Hollywood cheek kiss.  I’d say I dodged a bullet tonight.  It could have been much worse. 

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