Why white women
Recently a faithful reader contacted me regarding my dating preferences. JF26 is a black woman who reads my page daily. She was curious about the diverse readers of the site. I’m sure she was as surprised as most of you will be, there are quite a few black women reading my site. 
Even though my writing is about my interactions with white women, it’s still about relationships between a man and woman. Eventually JF26 wanted to know why I prefer dating white women and is there a specific reason why I don’t date black women. So I will attempt to explain it the best I can.
I would first mention there are several reasons why I’ve been attracted to white women. Personally, I grew up in a upper middle class, white community. Of course, alot of my childhood experiences were with white counter parts. Everything from my first kiss, holding hands, and even puberty. Adapting to my environment became more than just a temporary thing. My hobbies, my entertainment, music choices are all based off what my friends and peers enjoyed. I am a direct product of my childhood. Now I’m very diverse in my taste of music. I enjoy classic rock, pop, techno, dance, hip-hop, rap, rock and even alternative. I enjoy hobbies like, deep sea f
ishing, camping, swimming, snorkeling, and boating.
There were a few years of high school when I was exposed to other ethnicity’s. I remember my first day of school at a all black school. It should have been the most comfortable day, but it was the scariest day of my life. I didn’t know what to expect. Of course, I survived and had a great time. But it was during the next couple years, when I began to date girls of the same race. For some reason, I never took our relationship to the next level. It was just a superficial relationship. A couple of my girlfriends thought I wasn’t interested in them. At the time, I wasn’t sure what it was. I was dating the popular girls at school, most of them cheerleaders.
As a young adult, I moved to Dallas, Texas. Dallas reintroduced me to the white community. Automatically, I felt like I was home. I began to socialize and date with white women. We share a lot in common. I would spend my weekends at pubs drinking beer, playing darts, pool, swimming and listening to rock music. Everyone that was in my life enjoyed similar interests. During the summer we spent the days at the lake on the boat and the nights hanging out. The next few years it became apparent that I was attracted to white women more than black women. The more I woke up next to a white woman, I found my self attracted to the smell of their hair, their smoothly shaved legs, their french manicured toes, their porcelain like skin and their free spirit. The contrast of our skin is one of the most erotic things I can imagine.
I know plenty of beautiful black women, but I don’t find myself attracted to them in a romantic way. I can appreciate their beauty, but it’s not for me. Over the years, some have taken this as a insult. I take it as the ability to make a choice and to have a preference.
Thanks for the question JF26. Talk to you soon.
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Everyone has preferences, and we can’t always explain them as easily as you just did. But the important thing is that we respect those preferences and don’t take them personally.
I am very attracted to a sense of humor, even if the guy is not particularly attractive in a physical sense. A guy who can keep me laughing can win my heart, and I’ve found that a man becomes much more physically appealing when I’m attracted to what’s on the inside. So, my past boyfriends may not have been the best looking men on the planet, but they sure kept me laughing! And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Tish’s last blog post..Create Your Own Lamps!
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Thanks for you comment. There are several types of attraction. Some is physical, mental and of course it takes some time…but also emotional. Ultimately everyone has their own preference.
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Here is a bit of honesty for you, I followed your link from your comment on Lisaq’s blog and was tempted to just click away. I saw your blog in a directory yesterday and simply skipped over it because of the title, as I totally fail to understand this American issue about skin colour but I started reading, more for the chance to prove to myself that Americans are still racists (both black and white) and was pleasantly surprised.
You write intelligently and from the heart. Your explanation of why you are more attracted to white women is excellent, although I don’t quite understand why anyone would feel the need to ask for an explanation.
I really hope one day America will get over their skin colour issue and realise that people are just people and we are all attracted by different attributes. This idea that we should support and stick with our own ‘kind’ simply perpetuates racism in the US (in my opinion).
For the black ladies that read your blog - you are beautiful, you are people and you should not be offended if someone doesn’t find you attractive, just move on and find someone that does, whether they are black, white or yellow - skin really is only skin deep.
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Well, kuddos to you! I am glad that you do what your heart desires instead of doing what society expects. Especially since you are not doing a thing wrong by choosing white only.
I believe we are ALL just people. No matter what color or where we come from.
I have never dated a black man, though they have always been extremely attracted to me and let me know it, LOL!
If you are attracted to a certain kind, find that kind! And better yet, if you find that the kind that keeps your interest, you my friend have struck gold!
I hope that your journey is exciting & that you find true love on your trip!
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[...] to fix. It seems that no matter how many times you explain it or how many different ways you express your ideas, someone will always be offended. Someone will always get their feelings hurt or they will take [...]
[...] question Bree! I know I’ve written about this in the past. It’s probably the #1 question that I get. There are several part to your question. I [...]
I completely agree with the other comments–we can’t help who and what we’re attracted to and everyone deserves to be with someone who shares their interests. Case in point, my sister and brother both grew up in a predominantly white suburb and we all love rock music and outdoor sports (and overpriced sandwich shops!). That said, nothing hurt my heart more than to hear my brother explain to me why he could never be serious about someone who looks like me. Many of his reasons were similar to the ones you gave. It’s one thing to date someone who appreciates and shares your interest, but you’re assuming that just because a woman is white that she does and if she’s black she doesnt. That’s rather insulting to all women.
As black women we need to get over being personally offended by black men who choose white women–that’s a decision that everyone makes for themselves. However, I don’t see why you don’t recognize that you’re still making your choices based solely on skin color–and there IS something a little mixed up about that.
Peace and Blessings
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Eathan Reply:
September 30th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Ms Cortez, I just wanna refer you to my post entitled Craigslist Surprise. I’m open to all different types of women. Check that one out.
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It’s funny that you sound so surprised on that post.
But again with the generalizations! Not all sistas sound like they’re from the projects–’cause not all sistas are from the projects! God knows you don’t know me from Eve (which is the beauty of blogging, I guess) and I definitely don’t want to come across as combative. It’s just that I completely agree with most of the people on this site that race/ethnicity shouldn’t matter when it comes to who you date. The problem as I see it is that in our efforts to prove how much they don’t matter, we make too big of a deal out of it–thus proving that they do matter (at least to some)! All I ask is that when we start looking for our mates, friends with benefits, whatever, we look for people who contribute to our happiness. What’s funny is that we do it with our friends. I don’t know anybody who says “I can’t hang out with her ’cause she’s white” or “She’s black, so she’s an automatic best friend”. So why do we do it with our significant others?
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Eathan Reply:
September 30th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Here’s the big difference. Ready??
I have male friends and I have female friends. I’m not trying to hook up with my male friends. Why?? I’m not gay.. and that’s not what I’m attracted to. I The same principle applies to my dating. I’m not attracted to someone for what ever reason and that’s how it is.
“Not all sistas sound like they’re from the projects–’cause not all sistas are from the projects!”
I never implied anything about the projects at all. I know plenty of other ethnic groups in the ‘projects’.
If you read more content on this site.. it will give you more information about my lifestyle and what I have in common with the women that I date and who I’m attracted to.
P.S. This is reposted on today.
http://idatewhite.com/2008/09/30/why-white-women-2/
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