Who Should Pay

by Eathan

There has always been a great debate over who pays on a date.? Should it always be the man?? Is it wrong for a woman to pay?? I have my own opinion which is why I usually make first meetings simple.? I frequent Starbucks or a local happy hour to keep things simple.? Yes, I do pay.? Even the first time I met TW39, I did pay.? We enjoyed a steak dinner.? But depending on the situation and the person this could vary.?

I came across a video that gives some thoughtful insight.

I agree that most of the time the guy pays for the date.? I recently had a date ask me why everyone just wants to hang out.? What has happened to the traditional date?? The dinner and movie.? I’ve noticed with the growing trend of internet dating, it’s wiser to meet for a short date to make sure you get along well.? Why commit to a 4 hour period of time if there’s a chance you might not have chemistry.? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve answered the phone, and a female friend is trying to get out of plans with someone who has turned out to be a creep.? Now there have been times where I’ve gone to Starbucks for a first date and there’s times I’ve gone to a 5 star restaurant.? Either way it wasn’t a reflection of how much I liked my date.? It was more of wanting companionship.? And if a woman insists on returning the favor to pay for a date, I’ll gladly accept.? Just my way of acknowledging equal rights.? Recently, I was criticized for not paying.? Normally I would pay.? Normally I have my wallet.? Normally I don’t cross date friends.? The circumstances were a little different from normal.? I had no previous plans to meet TW39, until she requested that I just go along and watch her eat.? The point of me going was not for a date.? It was for the sole purpose of continuing our phone conversation.? Should I pay for what I ordered?? Ice tea?? Yes, I didn’t order food since I already ate.? There’s so much wrong with the events that occurred on Sunday and the events that followed.? There’s no need for me to detail it all.? If a woman wants to insist on paying, it will not offend me.? It shouldn’t offend any of you either.?

Post your comments, I’d like to hear your thoughts.

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Tagged as: , black men, dallas, dating, interracial, interracial dating, interracial love, interracial relationships, love, relationships, white women

Article by Eathan

Life long interracial dater and father of two.  Currently resides in Dallas and socially active in the DFW area.  You can connect with Eathan on Twitter and Facebook.

Eathan has written 539 awesome articles.

  • Nephie
    I dunno that's a good one...in my experience sometimes I pay and sometimes he pays...It depends on how close we are...with my last relationship things stayed pretty equal and we had an unspoken agreement that whom ever had gotten paid the most recent is the one who paid...Kinda funny but true...because it was that person who had extra cash on hand to spend...if it ever got to a point where we were staying in for movies and whatnot on his week and goin out on my week we would have a problem...thankfully that wasn't our issue...
  • Amanda
    I'm old fashioned and like for the men to pay. But... I do make my own money, so I will offer to pay... If I'm turned down 2 or more times, I stop offering... At least let me leave the tip once in awhile....
  • Good..I'm glad you're laughing again...

    Makes no difference huh... ohhh okay...
  • TW38
    LMAO... ok... whatever "eathan". Keep telling yourself anything and everything you want to hear. Makes me no difference... I was just posting and commenting as you continously ask people to do.

    Your postings are now becoming quite funny.
  • It's hard to sit and watch someone eat when they keep saying.. have some..try this... don't let me eat all this by myself... Just FYI. I believe I explained the rest of our time at Humperdinks very well.

    Our interaction would've never began if it wasn't for SK31. It wasn't the only reason..it was the MAIN reason why I agreed to see you. I'm not sure how you would think of any thing different. But as I said before....I appologize if you have become confused.
  • TW38
    It is funny that you did a whole blog about this issue...

    However I do want to make something very clear because to me (and it maybe just to me) you make it sound like you didn't eat anything at all when in fact... you ate half my food that I did order. Not that it was a big deal because I invited you out and would have gladly have paid for anything you wanted to eat...of course after having to go home and get my damn credit card..lol (bet that won't happen again..lol) But to make it seem as though #1 that you didn't even eat anything and #2 that you lead me to to believe that it wasn't about getting info from me on SK31 (I asked a head of time if that was the only reason and you said no) is just crap. Yes....my feelings are hurt. Not that you care....you have made that abondantly clear. I guess that the good guys can thank you for making it harder for them. And I can thank you for making me more caucious about who I trust and who I don't. I had always hoped that I would never be the person you are pushing me to be... cautious of every man. That really sux!
  • This is an oldie and a goodie. I calibrate heavily to the date and take it case by case. Here's a couple of things I do:

    1) If it's a first date, like a few drinks, then I'll make sure we split the check OR I'll trade paying for rounds, which always goes over well. This makes it so she's treating me and I'm treating her. It also creates a natural end to the drinking, because usually one of us will run out of cash.

    2) If I ask her specifically to go eat, I'll usually pay because I asked for it. Sometimes I say I'll pick up this check if she gets the next if I'm confident that we'll go to a 2nd date. This also works okay too. Again, I'm treating her then she's treating me.

    What I really dislike is taking a hard line on NEVER paying for her because it's not classy and no fun. A lot of PUA lit tells you not to buy drinks/food but I don't agree. Just play it cool and pick up the check when appropriate and never try to buy her affection with money.

    Lances last blog post..What If You Don?t Like His Friend?
  • I agree that who ever invites should pay...but it doesn't always work out that way. As a guy, if you don't pay you will take all the heat. So I'm usually prepared to pay.
  • I say~ who ever initiates the date should pay for it. If I called you & asked you out on date, I would pay & hope that you would know that I was paying~seen as I asked you out on a date. If you asked me out on a date, I would expect the same. Now, after time of more frequent dates, seen as both one another want eachother, I say split it in 1/2 or I get it this time & you get it next. Fair is fair. For all those greedy ass women who expect the man to pay for it all, well Kanye West wrote a the perfect song for that. Gold Diggers are known here is Dallas. Stay clear from that kind :) Also, same goes for the Hotel room. A booty call is a botty call! For goodness sake, does she really have Gold Down There? Just my thoughts, but I am a woman whom does not believe we should ever have a female president. We were made 2nd for a reason & we have hormones.......I am sure to get hell from other bitches, but oh well, I love a good debate. How the hell does any man deal w/ a woman in the first place, LOL! But you men are a lot of work as well.
    Have a wonderful Memorial Weekend!
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