Eathan asked me to write a guest post and pretty much gave me free reign, but I thought it would be interesting to write on a topic of his choice.  Of course, his topic of choice was interracial dating specifically what drives women who have not dated a black man to do so…especially exclusively. To give you an idea of the prevalence of interracial dating in the US, here are some interesting stats that I found clicking around the web. 40% of Americans have dated outside their race. While that is almost half, I was somewhat surprised that the number isn’t higher. I also found some interesting stats on black men dating white women in particular.

 Apparently, black men are two and a half times more likely to marry a white woman than a black woman is to marry a white man. Even more interesting, and coincidentally disputed, is that 70% of black/white relationships are black men and white women.

This is really a more complicated question than it first seems at face value. It is also one that has more than one answer depending on how you look at it. Now, I don’t pretend to have all the answers. Hell, maybe I don’t have any of them. My perspective here is not necessarily based on experience in interracial dating. Rather it is based on my experience with people and with dating and dating preferences.

To begin with, I really think you have to look at dating preferences in general because, really, we all have them whether we choose to admit it or not. Anyone who denies that they do will either date anyone with a pulse which really is so not attractive or has no idea what they are looking for in a partner. Neither of these scream relationship potential to me! Eathan, of course, prefers to date and is attracted to white women. I am attracted to and prefer to date younger men. And really that’s what it boils down to…what attracts you. Some men are attracted to big hooters, some women to a nice ass. I know a woman who is attracted to humor, another who gets lost in a man’s eyes. Sometimes attraction is more general; other times more specific. For example, Eathan’s attraction is not only to white women, but blonde white women. My attraction is to not only to younger men, but taller, athletic younger men.

The question is two-fold. First, what prompts that attraction and then what makes it something that becomes your norm. Based on my personal experience with dating preferences, I believe that a great deal of the attraction process is based on environmental factors. For example, my attraction to younger men came about for two reasons. My ex-husband was older and seemed to become more and more so with every passing day toward the end of our marriage. He became more cynical, more sour, and meaner. In my mind, because he also seemed to age exponentially physically, I connected his attitude with his age. Secondly, after the divorce, it was younger men who seemed to be attracted to me. Though surprised at first, I thought, “What the hell? Why not give it a shot?” In time, it became my norm.  If it had been younger, black men showing the lion’s share of the interest, who knows where my preferences might have gone?

For example, Eathan told me the story of a woman he knows who put on weight during her marriage. After her divorce, though comfortable with herself, she soon realized that the male attention she was getting came from black men rather than white men. As a result, she now exclusively dates black men. Pretty simple really.

Post your comments, I’d like to hear your thoughts.

If you like this post, then consider subscribing to my full feed RSS.

If you want to be notified the next time I write something or EXCLUSIVE shopping offers sign up for email alerts or subscribe to the RSS feed. Thanks for reading.