Sushi with MC31

by Eathan

I waited a couple days to post this because my thoughts were not clear enough to write.? Thursday evening I had dinner with MC31.? She text me and wanted me to join her for sushi at Fujiyama.? After our last experience there, she wanted to go back.? We agreed to meet after work, 530pm.? That worked out well, I was having a stressful work week and I needed the break.? She and I greeted with a hug.? I order my usual Volcano Roll and she ordered the Dallas Stars Roll.MC31 SUSHI? Absolutely, positively delicious!? I haven?t seen her for almost 2 weeks.? I?d been sick for a few days and then with work I was out of the loop.? During our conversation I she revealed to me that she decided to pursue a relationship with a long time friend.? I wasn?t shocked.? As everyone knows, I don?t engage in the chase.? I know she wanted to be pursued and that?s not one of my habits.?

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So any way, I got the impression it?s on a trial basis.? I have no idea if it?s a 30 day money back trial basis, or if it?s just another way of passing the time.? I got mixed signals.? I have plenty of close friends that I would never date.? Maybe it?s just the chance of losing their friendship during the pursuit of a dating relationship with them.? During the time we spent together, she described some of the challenges of dating someone you?ve been friends with for years.? One of the biggest things I notice is that you now view them from a different prospective.? It?s like looking at a diamond.? If you only look from one side of it, you think it?s beautiful, spectacular and breathe taking.? Look at it from the other side and you begin to notice faults.? Soon you begin to question if you?re really looking at the same diamond.? I believe that you can?t change your faults; others just learn how to deal with them.? I know MC31 doesn?t share this belief with me.? Her belief is with direction and guidance you can change.? If that?s true, are you really in love with the original person?? I don?t know.? I do know the faults that bother you about someone today will bother you about them in the future.? They don?t go away; you just learn how to cope with them.? If you truly love someone, you won?t notice their passiveness, you won?t notice their party ways, and you won?t notice their lack of social status.? The important thing to realize is what makes you happy.? I?ve been single for years and the same things that irritated my ex?s back then, irritate them still and vice versa.? We grow.? We don?t change.? We accept each other.??This is one of the ways to upgrade any relationship, as?Lee?Greenwood?wrote on his?site. ?I?ve always said one of the major differences between men and women is ?

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Men don?t want you to change.? We love you for who you are right here, right now!

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Women think, if he would just?change this or change that he would be perfect.

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If the relationship has any chance of working out it?s because MC31 accepted him for being him.? Relationships survive because of acceptance.? After an hour we hugged and went our separate ways.? I wished her good luck.? I?m not one to attempt to sabotage some else?s attempt for happiness.

Post your comments, I’d like to hear your thoughts.

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Tagged as: acceptance, dating, fujiyama, interacial love, interracial, interracial relationships, Lee Greenwood, love, relationships, sushi

Article by Eathan

Life long interracial dater and father of two.  Currently resides in Dallas and socially active in the DFW area.  You can connect with Eathan on Twitter and Facebook.

Eathan has written 539 awesome articles.

  • Hi all,

    Thanks for the link!

    I am going to be a little ornery here, but I think people can and do change, both outside of and within relationships. I think the important thing is the catalyst for the change...

    A few years ago, I was in a very negative relationship where my partner was trying to coerce me to change, and to a certain extent I went along with it to make her happy. I tried to be the man she wanted me to be even though it began to compromise my personal integrity. Eventually, I had the strength to end it, but left with my self-worth in tatters.

    Between that relationship and the next I changed fundamentally, on a number of critical levels - this wasn't just growth, it was transcendence really. I became a different person, but the new me was the me I WANTED TO BE.

    Fast-forward to now, and things are different. I am with a girl who mostly accepts me for who I am, but would like a few minor changes :) Because I am a genuine, kind guy I often let her get her own way (the "yes, honey" paradigm) , and try to make a few changes if they will make her happy. Though I always stick to these following rules:

    1) I will never compromise my personal integrity ever again, I am willing to change a bit of what I do, but not who I am...

    2) I will never make a change to myself that has no value. Yes, I'll put the toilet seat down (and do). No, I won't wear Birkenstocks.

    I think it's possible for any relationship to change and evolve, as long as we each have an inner core of who we are, which doesn't change...

    Lee Greenwoods last blog post..10 Ways to Upgrade your Relationships
  • Well anyone who wants to say yes, Honey to me is welcome! I think people can change FOR their next relationship, but not WITHIN their current one. And if they do change and get back with an old flame, they will go back to their old ways. Those dynamics, once established, are just too hard to change. Compromise is one thing, change another...hard to tell the difference sometimes, but you've got to figure it out if you want it to work.

    Honeys last blog post..Weekly Roundup: Man Juice Edition
  • Amanda
    I agree that people don't change. As much as we want others to change, they won't (or shouldn't) change just because we want them to. You need to decide if their "faults" and "habits" are ones that you would be able to look beyond because you truly love the person. No one is perfect. Everyone has something about them that someone, somewhere will inevitably find fault with. True love comes when someone recognizes these faults, but loves you in spite of them.

    I once went out with a guy that was dead set against having children. We had discussed this children issue at length before even meeting in person. Even though I think I want kids, I gave him a shot... Not 10 minutes into our first date, he was discussing our children and how it would be fun to tell them how mommy and daddy met. He flipped a switch so fast that it made me not want to see him again. If he could change his mind about something so important in a matter of minutes of meeting me, what else would he change to be with me?

    I don't want to be with someone who is willing to change his beliefs to be with me. I would rather be with someone who is willing to discuss our differences and come up with a common ground or path to follow. Am I unrealistic in thinking this way?

    Men always joke about how a happy marriage comes when they just say "yes, honey" and let their wives get their way... Maybe it's because I have never been married...but I don't believe that's a happy marriage at all.
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