#1 Pet Peeve
This is my #1 pet peeve when it comes to dating. It bothers me more as a single parent. So let me paint the picture for you. You’ve met someone that you really like. You enjoy her company enough to have the coveted Saturday night date several times. You’ve been going out with her for 2-3 weeks and you really feel there is potential. You haven’t introduced her to your kids yet. You feel everything is going great. Then she throws a curve ball. You’ve made plans with your family/kids with out inviting her. The big issue is she wants to be invited. I have one word, ahhh NO! Ok, that’s 2 words.
As much as I enjoy dating you, it’s too early to be included into family/kids activities. How dare she expect to meet my cousins, uncles, kids or possibly my parents so soon. Isn’t there a dating calendar that says, don’t expect to meet family with in the 1st 3 months? I hate when it feels like she’s attaching jumper cables to you, so that she can advance the relationship quicker than you’re prepared to at the time. I know women move a lot faster emotionally, but you can’t demand your high school diploma during the 1st month of elementary school. Getting to know someone takes time. Getting introduced to my family even takes more time. For the woman who wants to move at the speed of sound, slow down. Just because you’re not meeting the family and spending every spare moment with me doesn’t mean I’m not feeling you. It surely doesn’t mean that I want to hear you bitch about it and give hints.
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When I date guys that have kids I usually follow the rule that there is no way that in the first i would say 4 months I would ever ASK to meet his kids. After the first 4 months it depends on the relationship and how close i feel to the guy.
SWFs last blog post..Sex & Scratch Off Tickets
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Well being a single mother I’m here to tell you that my daughter rarely meets any man. Mainly b/c I replace them like shoes, but I feel that she shouldn’t meet someone unless I’m getting really serious which sometimes is longer than 3 months.
I’ve been dating a guy now for 5 months and he has yet to meet my little one…granted we’re not in the same city but I’m still really cautious about that. Her father on the other hand is not so careful, she meets a new chic every few months which does concern me.
I don’t want for her to grow up feeling that it’s okay if a man isn’t able to committ to one person for an extended period of time. I think it’s time for he and I to have this conversation.
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@Teacia I agree with the time limit for the most part. My kids know alot of my friends.. male & female. But i guess i hate the expectation that is put on me. I normally find a good situation to see how well everyone gets along. It could be something as simple as a invite for desert, a sporting event or going to the gym. We usually do alot of things with a group…so 1 more person isn’t noticed.
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I don’t have kids…but I certainly have NO INTEREST in meeting a man’s kids unless the relationship is going in the right direction. That just takes time.
The last time I broke up with a man where kids were involved, I had a harder time getting over the fact that I wouldn’t get to see the kids again then I did the cheating asshole.
Teacia…I like shoes, Too!
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I have to agree completely here. I am a single mom, my dates (oh ya, the whole field of em…lol) never meet my son.
Now, if I feel comfortable enough with someone, after a month or two, then a friendly VERY casual meeting lasting no longer than an hour’s worth of ice cream at the beach, then maybe.
But for any kind of serious family meeting, yikes, that’s pressure on everyone involved. And has to be gauged carefully. I say no earlier than 3 months for me. But that’s my preference.
My son knows almost all of my friends. And I have no qualms taking him to sit on the patio at the pub with me or anything, so it isn’t like I am isolating him. I just respect him more than anyone else, that’s my job.
Plus, you have to deal with family bs if things don’t work out ‘oh where’s whats-his-nut’ and ‘oh that’s too bad, he seemed like such a great guy, stop being so picky’ and just the ‘looks’ and you know what i am talking about…lol.
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I totally agree with this….unless we’re engaged to be married….my parents or my kids are a no-no. My family tends to latch on and hold on….long after I’ve let go…brings back bad memories.
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