Differences in Parenting

by Eathan

Yesterday I had something very interesting happen to me.  I woke up to a phone call from my son’s mother.  She seemed in a bit of panic and upset.  Immediately I began to think the worst.  After a few seconds into the conversation I realized it wasn’t a life or death situation.  But it there is a problem.  My youngest son is only 7 years old and for the last 2 months he’s had a obsession with a dirt bike.  He has been on the Internet looking at pictures.  He’s been picking out bike colors, models, and everything else you can imagine.  Now like any other 7yr old he’s keeps talking about a dirt bike.  He tells anyone that will listen that he is getting a dirt bike.  Now the for the last 2 months, my ex and I have been telling him that he’s not getting a dirt bike.  Bottom line is, it’s my decision that he doesn’t get one.  And I’ve made it clear that I’m not going to allow him to have one.  So now that you know the background to the story, I’ll tell you what the phone call was about.

My child work up early on Saturday morning and decided this was the morning he was going to get dirt bike.  So he got on the computer, went on a website and purchased a dirt bike.  Yes, he did!  He took mom’s Visa debit card, entered all of her billing information, entered all of her contact information, and the card security information.  He completed the transaction.  The total was over $1100.  Now, he might have got away with this for a couple days.  Or at least until the bike was delivered.  A few hours later, she received a phone call from the company in California.  They are attempting to verify her order.  She was totally shock.  She canceled the order, of course.  And immediately called me.  Now I’m his Dad.  I always show moral support with his mother on core issues.  But this one has me scratching my head.  I didn’t hear him crying in the background.  I didn’t hear him whimpering.  I didn’t hear anything that would’ve let me know he was recovering from any type of punishment.

The phone call was to inform me of what was going on.  She also wanted me to punish him.  What?? Are you serious?? OK let me get this straight.  This fool took your debit card, ordered a dirt bike, and you’re calling me to punish him?? WTF!? Is he still within arms reach of you?

cute boy thumb4470724 Differences in Parenting

*Dream Sequence begins*  If I did the exact same thing when I was 7 yrs old to my Mom.  News flash! 20 years later, I can just remember my name.  I’m just learning to walk again.  I just gained feeling in my limbs again.  Yeah, I would’ve got a ass whipping that would’ve made me a poster child for Child Protective Services.  haha  *Dream Sequence over**

So this brings me to a conversation that I have on a regular basis with my friends.  White moms are different from Black moms.  I know you’ve seen white parents fighting with their kids in the grocery store, the mall, and Walmart. They invented time out.  You know where you send the kid to his room to sit down and think about what he did wrong.  FYI, that’s when your child comes up with their next plan of action.  Now Black moms do things different.  You’ve seen them at Walmart with a crying child following them.  Why?? Well Curtis Jr was acting up and he never saw the back hand coming.  Yeah, she got is ass back in line and quick.  I’m not saying that I believe one way is better than the other.  I’m not saying that I believe you should give your child a ass whippin every single time they do something wrong.  I’m not saying to give your child a time out every time they do something wrong.   And I’m definitely not saying to do harm your child.  But I’m saying there is 2 different plans of action and it appears to be based off of your ethnicity.

I guess what I’m getting at is, why call me to punish him?? The stunts that he pulls on her is NOT the stunts he pulls on me.  Matter fact, he asks me to use the computer.  He doesn’t know my passwords.  He knows my computer has restricted access.  He doesn’t even think about touching my wallet.  He knows grown folks will get jacked up for touching my wallet.  Honestly, I rarely have any problems with my boys.  Most of the time it just takes me talking to my boys to adjust their attitudes.  I reserve the right to corporal punishment, aka ass whippings.  But every so often he acts up with mom.  Every so often I think she needs to put her foot down and put his ass in check.

So how did this story end?  She had to run out the house to head to the bank before Noon.  So I texted her, “spank his ass”.  She replied she would when she got back home.  What?? Damn!  Once again, I don’t expect her to do it.  How long does it take for 3 good swats?? Am I expecting too much?

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  • Me again: I told my kid about what your son had did... and days later, she's still talking about it. She's completely in awe. Yesterday, I overheard her telling one of her friends, "You know what this boy did--"

    He's famous over here.

    Single Mom Seekings last blog post..Is your blog ruining your dating life?
  • haha... I'll have to tell his mom. Maybe she'll think it's cute and get a laugh. She wasn't laughing when it happened...lol
    I might have to teach him how to blog about his struggle to become a real 'dirt bike boy'. ;)
  • Wow, this is definitely an issue to which you and Mom should sit down and AGREE upon the proper course of action. As long as you two are not presenting a united front, he will continue to poke his fingers through the holes.

    Good Luck
  • Sorry I'm not sure how I missed your comment. We are united on approval and disapproval of his actions. And of course, we support any course of action that happens.
  • You already know how I feel about spanking, since I emailed you on the side. Discipline is about teaching -- and spanking is simply using force and violence on your kid, not teaching him a thing.

    This did, however, spark an interesting conversation with my 8-year-old this morning. First, she was amazed that your son used his mama's credit card online. She said, "How did he do that?"

    I asked her what would be a good form of discipline (because I was curious what she'd say). She said: "Take away his birthday party, or a really special playdate on the weekend."

    Then, of course, she added, "But not if he was 8. That's only for a 7 year old..."

    You know I have strong feelings about spanking. But that's a post of its own.

    Single Mom Seekings last blog post..I ran into my first-ever boyfriend at Trader Joe?s, two decades later?
  • Well he was grounded from a lot of stuff for a couple weeks. That punishment was issued from his Mom. I didn't get involved at all.

    Just to point out my stance on discipline -
    "I?m not saying that I believe one way is better than the other. I?m not saying that I believe you should give your child a ass whippin every single time they do something wrong. I?m not saying to give your child a time out every time they do something wrong. And I?m definitely not saying to do harm your child. "

    I am a progressive parent... I am fortunate enough not to deal with many issues of misbehavior. And of course, I have the MAN factor. They don't second guess my instructions....lol
  • This is too funny. I mean, I'm sorry it happened to your son's mom, but it's a friggin' hilarious story.
  • Yes I laugh when I'm not in her presence. haha

    That is why we call him Dirt Bike Boy.. he will forever be branded..lol

    And you'll be happy to know, He announced Friday that he was no longer grounded! haha..
  • Amanda
    Dude, if that were my son, he's get the ass-whooping of his life! (And I'm white!) My parents didn't hold back when we needed disciplined, that's for damn sure. If that were our son, the call you would be getting would be from the police cause I got carried away beatin' the shit out of our punk ass kid. What the hell was going through that kid's mind thinking he could get away with something like that? Seriously? That's recockulous.
  • Sweeeet
    And that's about how long it will take him to "earn" the money!
  • he'll earn it then with a Dad financed project. I got it out. haha
  • Sweeeet
    That's some smart kid you got if he knows how to use a credit card at 7 years old. Not having kids, I always seem to have what sounds like a good answer to me, so here goes: Chore chart. Show him what it takes to raise $1100. After about 3 days, when he's got another 3 years to go, all thoughts of a dirt bike are out the window. He'll learn the value of a dollar. Also, I'd pull up a website real fast that shows the punishment for theft by credit card. Scared straight seems to work for others! I truly think while a good spanking is not child abuse, this one needs something a little more cerebral. Jail and earning his own cash should do it! :) good luck!
  • Yeah... Imagine my kid is good with computers and knows how to spend $$ haha. Well he's got some other choices. The main issue is, he's my child remember... he does his own stunts. Which means we're more concerned about safety. He can ride in a few more years.
  • Nehpie
    That is fuckin hilarious...fortunately I haven't had that one happen yet...but my girls know I'll put my foot in their neck...and not from their mouth!!!
  • Yeah...it's a funny story...she didn't think it was. He knows who to push...of course he doesn't push it with me ;)
  • Call Dr. Phil or Super Nanny or better yet, my last date is a blackbelt in Karate!

    I have no experience in this department. When I first started reading the post I thought, DAMN, get the poor kid a dirt bike for Christmas and be done with it. It looks like he blew his chances for that!

    Pretty sneaky.....I am not sure what I would do.

    Missys last blog post..Mr. Blackbelt
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