Soccer Mom Syndrome
It’s official, KT35 is suffering from SMS (soccer mom syndrome). She has all the signs and symptoms. I haven’t seen her much. We talk on the phone every couple days. Our recent conversations have been about how busy and tired she’s been. It seems as if things are changing rapidly. Actually, it’s been almost 2 weeks since our last date. Since starting her new job at the local school district, she has been unavailable. It’s been very hectic for her. KT35 has a full day of work and then she’s involved with one of the athletic teams. Her work day starts at 730AM and doesn’t finish until 6pm. She also has her own children active in sports. They have practice at least 3 evenings after work and then games on the weekend. So by the time she gets home, she’s exhausted. Our pattern has changed. We talk on the phone for a few minutes every couple days. And then the cycle repeats.
Normally when it comes to dating, I choose women who have similar schedules and activities. Its never any fun when you find someone you enjoy being with, just to realize that your schedules don’t work out. I’m sure some might think that I’m being selfish. And you’re right. I’m selfish. I’m the only one looking out for me, myself and I.
One thing about being a parent is the amount of personal sacrifices you make. I’ve had one of my sons live with me in the past. During that time, my dating life came to a complete halt. My priorities began to focus on his school work, sports activities and anything else that he needed. It made it extremely difficult to be spontaneous. Of course, my social activities reflected him being with me 24 hrs a day. I spent most of my spare time with my friends that have kids. When I did go out on the town, I had to plan. I had to get a babysitter. And sometimes, it didn’t work out and I stayed home.
I’m totally understanding of her circumstances. But. Yes there’s a But.. and it’s a big ole BUT! I’ve been in relationships where there were too many kid activities. It consumed every spare moment. And it was torture. Example.. A few years ago, i had a long term relationship with Krazy V. She has 2 daughters and I have 2 boys. With all of the kids, sports practices, games and activities, there wasn’t enough time in the day. There wasn’t enough hours in the day, week or month for us. Eventually, we spent less and less time together. Before you know it, both of us were miserable. I’m not planning on repeating that mistake.
This is a common problem when dating divorced soccer moms. They are very busy and active with the life of their kids. They enjoy going out a couple times a month and still maintain their independence. But it makes me wonder. How busy is too busy?
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It’s a common problem when dating divorced soccer dads too! Kids come first — and when someone has full (or mostly full) custody … it’s the way it is.
That’s what makes us single girls with no kids so darn attractive!!
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August 22nd, 2008 at 5:28 am
I agree with you jennifer. Kids are a priority. Single people don’t always agree or understand the time involvement.
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Busy, Busy, Busy…According to the book I just read…that means She’s just not that into you….or it’s a lame excuse because if you two really wanted to be together you would be working it out. You would be going to some games
Nobody is THAT BUSY!!!
BUT…and it’s a little butt *wink*…I understand. I feel your pain. I date men with crazy schedules. Thank goodness mine is flexible. One of my favorite guys works most weekends. Guess what? We are grilling at my house on Monday!! We meet during the week sometimes for lunch. We figure it out. Sometimes it means getting our schedules out and planning in advance. Believe me …if you both were goo goo gah gah…you’d be figuring it out. I think it’s an excuse.
@Jen…I am one of those single girls with no kids too! Finding a single guy with no kids is like music to my ears!
Missys last blog post..Tattoos and Such
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August 22nd, 2008 at 5:27 am
@Missy.. Notice I’m not going to games. And notice the small comment that I made about my previous relationship and how I’m NOT going to make that mistake again. Just a little insight on why I’m not going to repeat a previous mistake.
Single women with no kids aren’t always a good match either. They have other issues also.
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August 22nd, 2008 at 10:24 am
Oh yeah Missy I forgot to mention…. The book you mentioned..isn’t totally accurate. Over 1/2 of the stuff in there doesn’t apply to every situation in dating. My rule is, if it doesn’t work for you.. it doesn’t work for you. If both people are satisfied with things, then it works. So one person’s “not into you” is another couple’s “it works for us”. Basically if you know what works for you, no matter what anyone else thinks, go for it.
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Miss Hottie Reply:
October 4th, 2008 at 9:19 am
I have to agree with Eathan. Single people can be selfish. I think their selfish behavior can spill into the choices they make in the life also. Sorry Missy
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Has school even started yet?? I felt the jab on the “single women with no kids arent’ always a good match either. They have other issues” I forgot I was talking to an issue free man. HA HA HA!
Missys last blog post..Tattoos and Such
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August 22nd, 2008 at 10:58 am
Alot of times, people that don’t have kids don’t realize or understand parents. They can get testy and irritated when you’re priority has a constant conflict with their plans. Single people have the right to be selfish, because they don’t have anyone else depending on them. Parents however, spend a lot of their time catering to kids, esp when they are young. Just a well known fact.
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I can understand both sides, as well…I’m a busy single mother…I have my kids, a career and trying to launch my own business…Just yesterday, I was telling my BFF that it seems that there isn’t enough me to go around…I’m very fortunate to have very understanding friends that are accepting of my “spontaneity” (when I just find a spare minute to make a mad dash out of my house and away from my family!) And I have family that will whisk my kids off to do their thangs…My room mate was telling someone on the phone that ‘this girl goes to work and when she comes home she still workin’…but through it all, I seem to always find time for a dating life…BELIEVE me, I make time for it!!! And I feel, as busy as I am…if the person that I’m trying to work things out with can’t squeeze in some time for me then OBVIOUSLY they aren’t the one for me…as much as I do enjoy them…
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Don’t ya just luv spam comments? lol
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[...] her ex-husbands, younger girlfriend complicates her life. I’m going to refer to this as SMS. ( soccer mom [...]
[...] MH42 was very social and easy to talk to. We began to talk about dating. She hasn’t been on a date since she got married to her ex-husband. I was surprised. She’s attractive and has a great figure. Why is it tough for her to get a date? One of her kids plays on a select soccer team and the other one is in dance. So that takes up 6 evenings a week. She suffers from SMS (soccer mom syndrome). [...]
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