Gold Digga Factor

by Eathan

I’m not saying she’s a gold digger, but she ain’t messing with no broke n***a!  Well said Kanye, well said.  Over the last few weeks, I’ve been involved with several discussions on gold diggers, spoiled women, and cheap men.  There are some major differences between men and women.  Of course I’m not here to attempt to resolve any of those issues. I’m just going to point out my latest experience.  The last few days ZC22 and I have been talking on the phone.  We’ve had a couple interesting conversations, but the one thing that stands out is the Gold Digga Factor.  That is a woman who associates with or marries a man chiefly for material gain, aka gold digger.  I have Gold Digga friends, but I won’t date one.

It started out with very subtle statements.  ”If you thought I was cute, I should not have paid you money for what you sold on craigslist.”  I laughed at the idea.  She might be cute, but we don’t have a relationship.  I just met her.

A few days later, the conversation turned towards the same thing. This time she said, “you want to take me shopping for my birthday?”  WTF??? Are you serious?? It’s my birthday weekend.  So I gave her the inside story.  I’ve been married 2 times.  There have been plenty of women in my life, made stacks of money and I have never taken a woman shopping.  I’m not selfish, but it’s not my style, it’s not my thing and it won’t ever be my style or thing.  I figured that would be the last of it.  It wasn’t.

42 19080669 Gold Digga Factor

“Would you give it to me if I was a white girl?”

That made me laugh even more.  I told her no I wouldn’t.  The response she gave next is a classic one.

“I like gifts, I was a spoiled girl and a man who shares is a man who cares.  I don’t want a stingy dude.” (mission statement of a Gold Digga)  I replied, “I am not your man and I’m not trying to be your man.”

“You can have what ever you like… Parton ice…? We can pop bottles all night…You can have what ever you like” – T.I.

I’ve had a Gold Digga when I dated Crazy-J a couple years ago and she was much hotter than CZ22.? If I got rid of that Gold Digga, why would I want another one?

What happened to the independent woman?? I love the independent woman.  The independent woman doesn’t want to stay home and do nothing.  She wants to go out and earn her own money.  She enjoys having her own financial freedom.  She has her own house, money, and car.  She loves not depending on anyone else to provide her with life’s necessities/luxuries.

The interesting thing is I haven’t run into many white gold diggers.  I’ve run into a few, but not many.  If a woman can’t take care of her own needs, I have no desire to date her.  It doesn’t matter how good she looks.  White or black a woman needs financial freedom.  Recently I watched a preview of a TV show, Real Housewives Of Atlanta.  I laugh at a couple women on the show, who are proud to be Gold Diggas.  The whole concept of the Gold Digga defies the existence of the independent woman.  If they are so good looking, why aren’t they earning money by modeling or being a escort?

Is there a trend with gold diggers on racial lines?  Do white women realize more than black women, that black men aren’t falling for gold diggers?  Do white women realize more than black women, they can be replaced by another beautiful woman?

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Tagged as: black women, gold digger, interracial dating, white women

Article by Eathan

Life long interracial dater and father of two.  Currently resides in Dallas and socially active in the DFW area.  You can connect with Eathan on Twitter and Facebook.

Eathan has written 540 awesome articles.

  • I've dated plenty of golddiggery white women and it's very unattractive. It's always grounds for dismissal in my mind. Part of it is that women naturally "test" men, and some of the ways the test are by acting and expecting to be spoiled and paid for. To pass the test, you have to stand up and say no, I ain't paying for your shit. I've dated some of the most down-to-earth chicks you can imagine and even they do this, albeit only occasionally.

    Not sure if this is cultural or racial, but I suspect it's cultural since we live in a heavy culture of materialism and competitiveness. Everyone wants to get theirs, and many women define themselves by the status of their male mate.

    <abbr>Lances last blog post..The Weekly: Virgin Roundup</abbr>
  • Chris
    Wait, a text stating "you can't get a STRONG black woman"?

    She isn't a strong anything, except an annoyance. If she were "strong" why does she need a man to pay for a shopping spree, why not just take herself on a shopping spree? This isn't a strong woman - black, white or three-eyed alien. This is the sentiment of a child.
  • Damn Chris.. you hit the nail on the head! A strong woman will take herself on a shopping spree. She's young and her game isn't up to the level that it needs to be. I could have put her game on blast even more.. but I didn't feel the need to. I think this post is good enough.
  • Teacia
    "...cause everybody know it ain't tricking if you got it, my chic can have what she want..."

    ...ahh, it's like music to my ears. i happen to be a fan of a man with money. i am INTERdependent and will gladly allow myself to be taken care of. mind you, i would also NEVER ask a man to do anything for me. i usually surround myself with generous men, so asking isn't even an issue. but i work and will work 2 jobs if i need to get something done before i ask a man for a dime. but i honestly feel that if a man is any man of mine and i'm in need of something and he can provide then he will cease to be my man after said incident goes unattended to.

    but this chic right here is just trying to get what she can, she's younger and figures she can get over. asking you for a shopping spree this soon is a bad sign. she needs to step her game up.
  • I've been missing ya Teacia. lol

    Interdependent is a great word and concept. I think you said a couple key things. One being 'your' man. That would mean there is some type of relationship, not shortly after a introduction. I don't mind hookin up the woman that I'm dating.. but I'm not being a finance agent.

    I agree that because of her age, her game is weak. That might work on some guy that isn't as successful with women. This topic was one of many I could've addressed about her, but I didn't feel the need.


    **update** I got a text message from her to say that I'm unable to get a strong black woman. hmmmm I don't think she has read this site enough. ;)
  • Nephie
    I dunno...this is very interesting...I've had gold digga friends and been accused of that my-self...But I prefer to be on the Beyonce tip...Partner Lemme Upgrade Ya...because if you listen to that one...they are on to you bring something to the table and lemme bring something to the table and see what we come up with...and if the whole relationship chemistry is right then we can go futher than the two could ever do by them-selves....but Lawd knows how had it is to find someone that will put in as much as you do...and at the end of the day for it to be successful BOTH people have to know that they didn't do it by themselves....
  • Great point Nephie...I am always looking to see what they bring to the table. One sided relationships have a quick expiration date.
  • Jac
    Wow Eathan, wow.

    I think that this whole "it ain't tricking if you got it" is ruining everybody. Seriously I was a regular Miss Independent round here, til men started treating me like I was God's own special gift to their life in the moment. I cannot believe the extent these men will go to for a woman with a little chest and some hips or a booty.

    I somewhat blame it on the men for making us think that we can get this far without actually having to put anything in. I don't have to cook or clean, just look nice. I have even had a man to tell me that when he gets home from work I can take his card, while he stays and cleans. RIDICULOUS. Stop simping...for our sake and yours.
  • I feel ya on that. Well I've never dealt with Gold Diggas and i never will. I've driven everything from a hoopie..to a $100k sports car. If I haven't married ya... there's a good chance I'm not going to spend it on ya either. I enjoy meeting equally motivated women. That way you don't have to worry about them just looking for my money.

    I will say, Dallas is the breeding ground for the Gold Digga!
  • Jac
    Well I guess my being at work on a Sunday stops me from being a golddigger. Beyond that, I have a little rule about not letting a man spend money on me that I could not or would not spend on myself. If I'm not working I am not going to spend $50 on dinner and neither should you.
  • ughh..I hate Sunday working.

    That rule is a great rule. The one thing that most Gold Diggas forget is that one day they are obsolete.
    They become the old model. Someone else is better looking and more fun sooner or later. And there is no 401k in being a Gold Digga.
  • Sweeeet
    Didn't you say she was young? And if you're quoting her exact words, she sure sounds it. I like to be spoiled too...when I'm in a relationship. But I don't expect it or ask for it, I prefer to be pleasantly surprised by it. She'll learn give and take. Givers have a harder time taking but I don't think takers ever learn. I've watched both types of women operate, men as well. I don't think the takers are ever satisfied in the end...they just want more. Always the next person with deeper pockets, a better car, house, etc. just around the corner. Personally, I prefer more substance than that, but that's probably why I'm still single! Maybe I should try being a G.D.!!!
  • Yes she is young. The interesting thing is, I've heard this line of reasoning before. But one thing about me, I'm not suffering from a lack of female attention. I'm sure there are some men who don't mind.

    Let me know how being a Gold Digga works for ya.. ;) haha
  • Samanthia
    I think white women realize their wits and can use them to their advantage. We can use out physical appearance to get what we want to a certain extent but know that only lasts so long. I know I was raised by a single mother and have tried to become strongly independent to a fault because even when I have people offering to help I try to deny it sometimes because my pride gets in the way. I've seen my mom build her own empire without a man ANYWHERE near to help or guide her. Certain people in our American society are only looking for a handout and have never lifted a finger to help others; don't know the value of not giving to recieve...yet they are the first ones to take take and take. I know that the same mindset that made me a desirable independent woman made me the traditional domestic housewife I wanted to be when I was married and had a baby. A lot of girls aren't mature enough to live outside of a fairytale outside of their parents house and learn the ropes on their own so they want to move from having daddy wrapped around their finger to digging in some other man's pocketbook. Hope you stick to your guns....don't fall to her beauteous charm.
  • I'm glad to hear you have pride. Stay independent, that's one of the sexiest things I notice in a woman.

    But you already know I always gonna stick to my guns. Beauty and charm doesn't have a choke hold on my money.
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