Last week was a very hectic week with Dirt Bike Boy.? It started out very relaxed with normal stuff.? By Thursday, life took a turn for the worse.? I got a phone call from my ex, to say there was a problem at the school.? I needed to rush to the school to help with a discipline issue.? I didn’t have a chance to get out the door when I got a second phone call.? I was told how much of a problem there was.? Dirt Bike Boy left the school campus with out permission.? That created a panic among the school administration.? They immediately called the local police department for assistance.? What happened and how did this escalate so fast?
The short version of the story is, Dirt Bike Boy didn’t want to come inside after recess.? Instead of coming inside, he retreated to the playground.? When the school principal came outside to get him, he didn’t want to listen.? Instead of coming back towards the school, he took off towards home.? As soon as they realized he wasn’t coming back, they had to call the police.? His older sibling was off from work and at home.? She found him sitting in the back yard.? By the time I arrived, there were 5 police officers, 2 school administrators there.? This situation could have been worse, but I’m happy it was over.? After getting the details from the principal and talking to the police, he was in my custody.? (official police term)? Since I know some local police officials, there was no further legal action.
What happened to make this escalate so fast?? Dirt Bike Boy and Alpha Boy are very similar to me.? If we don’t get enough sleep or eat on a regular schedule, it affects our mood.? How do I know this?? I’ve dealt with this most of my life.? (I’m not considered diabetic)? I eat on a regular schedule every day.? Alpha Boy is the exact same way.? Dirt Bike Boy doesn’t.? He will skip meals if you’re not watching him.? He will not get enough sleep if you’re not careful.? The day before Dirt Bike Boy and mom didn’t get home early.? Instead of letting him sleep late, she woke him and rushed him off to school.? He slept 7 hours instead of the normal 8-9 hours.? Once I found out I was irritated.? He could have spent the night with me instead of going home.
Dirt Bike Boy spent the rest of the day with me.? With a nap and lunch, he was back to normal.? Of course, he did home work all afternoon and is officially grounded.? I made him write an apology letter to his teacher and the principal.? No TV.? No going outside.? No riding his bike.? No riding scooters or skateboards.? And that goes for at mom’s house also.?? It’s the punishment that he will have to deal with.
The school punished him with in school detention for 2 days.? It’s fair and needed to be done.? I have no complaints with that at all.
Friday we had a parent/teacher conference.? They wanted to sit down and discuss the school punishment and how to prevent any future problems.? I must say I was surprised how the conference turned out.? Like all conferences, there is a overview of the situation.? I had no problem with that.? The problem is getting others to recognize the signs/symptoms before things escalate.? As much as they didn’t want to believe me that it’s a sleep deprivation and diet issue, they had to listen.? I had to carefully describe his thinking and feelings during that time.? I also had to let them know that his grand parents could describe the same symptoms in me from years before.? The first thing that they wanted to know was, is this a medical condition.? Not that I’m aware of.? It’s just being aware that some people function differently based on sleep and dietary patterns.? After a long conference, they understood how to handle things.? My best advice for them was to watch his body language, facial expressions, and keep me alerted before anything gets out of hand.? They agreed.? I had to let them know that as he gets older he will realize how much his sleep and diet affects him.? Until then, we’ll have to monitor it for him.
Later in the day, I had a lengthy conversation with the school administration.? They thanked me for being so persistent and precise on how to deal with Dirt Bike Boy.? They admit that they are observing some of the things I’ve warned them about.? They are taking my advice seriously and using my suggestions to deal with any future issues.
Now that everyone is on the same page, I don’t think mom, school and I will have any further problems.? The open door policy is officially open to me.? I have complete access to the school with out delay.? I’m learning that single dad’s don’t get the same credibility that single mom’s get.? Our presence is welcome when invited.? Our advice is discounted from the start.? Our involvement is wanted only when requested.? It takes convincing and persistent actions to get involved.
I’m wondering if any one else has experienced this before?? Are there other single dad’s going through the same type of challenges with schools?
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