I decided to re-publish this Guest post by Teacia. It has been one of the most read posts still. Teacia is a black woman who has very strong views. I wanted to share why she loves black men and why she doesn’t want to share them with her white counterparts. I hope you’re enlighted by her words. Let me preface this post by simply stating that I am complex, contradictory and capable of great intelligence but also remarkable stupidity. In other words, I am only human.? But those realities don’t change what’s in my heart. I don’t expect for you to understand my words, I don’t even expect empathy for them. I expect to be met with opposition, after all you’re here because you now see in him what I’ve known for centuries, and you will not leave without a fight. Well I’m here to tell you, neither will we.
When asked to do this blog I was initially hesitant, after all this is a site about a black man who is exclusively dating white women. A man who has defended his beliefs in not dating women like me because of my complexion and physical attributes…this of course doesn’t sit well with me. I am a black women, born to a black man, whose grandfather is a white Irish immigrant. My father’s sisters have skin lightly kissed by the sun with eyes bluer and greener than most white women I’ve encountered. I have brown eyes that you can see straight through with the glistening of the sun against them. However, I am also a black women born to a black women, whose grandfather is a full-blooded Indian, who was swindled out of his land by the same men who now identify with my father’s ancestry. My mother is adorned with long wavy hair, hair that I once knew to be my own, hair that I chemically straighten to avoid special attention to my possible mixed race, because I am a black women who identifies most with being black.
I have a black cousin who married a white women some 18 years ago when dating interracially was still considered taboo. My cousin a star athlete who married “up” in the eyes of my family, and whom she married “down” in the eyes of hers. I harbored resentment towards him for his apparent self-hate, even at the tender age of 10 I understood his indiscretion. After marrying we hardly ever saw him, and still do limited to funerals and major holidays. We figured she was his one way ticket out of blackness and he didn’t hesitate to climb aboard. They have children, beautiful children, racially ambiguous children whom I love unconditionally as my family, but children who are nothing like their kin because their experiences are vastly different from ours. I have a sister who married a man who’s mother is half-white. I now have a nephew spawn from this union making him of mixed breed as well, whose skin is the color of buttermilk. I love him as if he was my own, especially considering he is my only nephew.
Having said all of this I am not a proponent of interracial dating. I can not embrace it because at my core I identify with the greatness that being black signifies. I identify with it because of a government that has said that my ancestor’s black blood is so potent that one drop of it defines who you are in this existence.
A definition that forced my grandmother and grandfather both into sufferage because of this blood. Blood that caused them to be beaten, raped, mistreated, spat upon, denied an education, denied basic rights, denied to be acknowledged and even accepted as a human being upon a land that they bled to maintain. These are all things they fought for, all things that shaped their future and ours, and all things that solidify my identity. When I see a black man, I see a man spawn from this strength, courage, and perseverance. I see a man who worked tirelessly during beatings, a man who dealt with the reality of his wife being used for entertainment, a man whose children were used as labor whores, a man who in the face of great adversity not only survived, but also transcended his struggle and demanded more for the future of his children. So my reasoning against interracial dating is simple. I am a selfish woman, I deserve this man. I was there for him during this struggle and he owes this allegiance to me. I was there by his side wrapping his wounds at night and I have earned his loyalty. Many will say that these wounds should have healed by now, that I should expect no allegiance from our men because we did not suffer these injustices, that we are millennium generation and have little ties to our past. Well I want to correct you, we still feel them everyday. We are further along the path to healing but we are far from being a healed nation. Even though my white counterparts may not embrace their history, it still plays a major voice in American society.
Some men say that black women are angry and they need someone a little less combative. The same traits that brought you through you now fault us for, don’t we have a right to be confused. You publicly degrade us and humiliate us on center stage for all of the world to see, don’t we deserve to be angry. You deny us our right by your side because of an ideal you have adopted as proper, and you think we’re not going to be furious about your betrayal. You constantly remind us of how negatively we are rated amongst our white/Asian/Latino counterparts and yet you expect us to change. Where is the support and the unconditional love. Am I okay with you dating white because I now turn you off…absolutely not. Do you not like the shape of my nose, or the plumpness of my lips. Is it the coarseness of my hair, or the extra baggage around my hips. What about me do you see, in likeness of your mother that says, no I don’t want her. Is it that I can’t make you happy because I’m black, I’m angry, I’m bitter and I could never assimilate to the life you choose to lead. What about me says, I think I’m going to exclude her from my dating pool. To weigh your decision on the physical attraction to another lacks substance. You are a black man, your life is founded on substance, and my life has been founded on nourishing that substance. So again my answer remains the same, I am against interracial because I am a selfish woman. He is of great blood, my blood, and that blood is the strength of my foundation, and without that foundation my house will crumble.
Post your comments, I’d like to hear your thoughts.
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