Culture Differences

by Eathan

I’ve always known that exploring and dating people from other cultures has it risks.  It doesn’t always seem to affect most of my readers unless you travel to other countries.  There have been 2 stories in the news that stood out to me. One of them is the death of two daughters who died at the hands of their Egyptian father.  It’s rumored that it’s a honor killing.  An honor killing is generally the murder of a family, most often females, when they (and maybe the wider community) believe the person to have brought dishonour upon them.  Yaser Abdel Said had two teenage daughters who were dating American boys.  He didn’t agree with them dating.  From news reports, the father had arranged husbands for his daughters in his native country of Egypt.  It seems like a drastic action by a father, but this is a common practice.

The Dallas community is still in shock.  It’s hard to think that there are people who would take such drastic measures, but it’s true.  The independent woman was created and perfected in the U.S.  The rest of the world doesn’t always feel the same as we do.  Arranged marriages still occur in many cultures.  Their father’s culture taught that a father’s duty, his highest responsibility, was to see his children wed into good households.  Marrying into a well-to-do Egyptian family would secure his good name, his future financial success and care in his old age. Now his daughters sheltered and modest but thoroughly American were turning their backs on their father’s plans.  It appears that he took matters into his own hands.

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The second news story that caught my eye happened in Dubai.  It originally caught my eye because the couple was arrested for having sex on the beach.  As I read further, I realized there was more to it.  Two single British people met, had drinks, took a walk on the beach, and then had moonlight sex on the beach.  Sounds like a great finish to happy hour right?  The problem is they are in Dubai!? Dubai is still a conservative Muslim community.  That means, it’s illegal for couples to hold hands, hug, kiss, AND have wild monkey sex on the beach.

“On affection in public, the law is clear and very strict,” said Khalifa al-Shaali, dean of the law faculty at the University of Ajman, in Dubai’s neighboring emirate. “Sex in public is an illegal act.”

I’ve heard things can be different in other countries.  This couple was punished with 3 months in jail, $350 fine, and deportation.  Jail for sex?  I’m glad that isn’t the case in Texas.  I’d have a life sentence by now.  My life would be ruined by pleasure.

My reason for writing this was to show how much some one’s culture can be so different from yours.  It could be a up hill challenge with family, traditions, and religion.  It takes a complete understanding of what they expect from a date.  I’ve dated women from other countries, one who had a full time chaperon with them. (that was strange)  I’ve heard of women meeting the guys parents on the 1st date.  The list goes on and on.

Would you ever give up a family or cultural tradition to date some one of another race?  Would you risk your life or go to jail for your dating choices?  Is this the sign of true love?

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Blksis2000 October 17, 2008 at 6:08 am

It seems to me that your response to the “honor killings” was a bit lukewarm. Regardless of their cultural beliefs, violence against women is deplorable. Murder is murder, regardless of culture. This month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Someone needs to call this man what he is, a murderer. There is a disturbing level of desensitization with killing women. And that has to stop!

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Laura October 17, 2008 at 8:15 am

Seriously she had a full time chaperone? That would freak me out totally!

NO I wouldnt risk going to jail in a country like Dubai!!!!!!

Is it true love if someone gives up their religion/culture for you? Not sure to be honest – just possible means that you beleived more strongly than they did in that religion/culture!

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Carinne October 18, 2008 at 12:12 pm

Would you ever give up a family or cultural tradition to date some one of another race? Would you risk your life or go to jail for your dating choices? Is this the sign of true love?

I would definitely (and have) given up family tradition to date some very amazing men from other backgrounds/races…and am proud to think that I can stand up for what I truly believe in. It’s hard for me to say that I would risk my life or go to jail beacause I’ve never faced that threat; however, I have felt so strongly in love before, that I’m sure I would’ve accepted any consequence that was presented to me. Thank you for getting people’s minds working- some have been sheltered for too long ; )

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