No Morning Sex?

by Eathan

Last night TR37 stopped by.? The last couple weeks have been so busy that our schedules didn’t match.? I thought she was coming over on Friday night, but there was a misunderstanding.? TR37 arrived around 830pm with a chilled bottle of Chardonnay.? She started out being distant, but quickly warmed up.? I wasn’t sure why she felt the desire to sit on the far side of the sofa.? I poured her a glass of wine and reached over to touch hold her hand.? We decided to watch Will And Grace on TV.? It wasn’t my choice, but there was a good looking redhead on the show.

I didn’t feel like drinking too much wine, so I let TR37 drink the rest of the bottle.? It gave us a chance to watch one of my new shows, Iditarod.? During the commercials she would lean over to give me a kiss.? Eventually, she ended up laying across my lap.? It was a cozy feeling.? She even whispered, “I’m not sure what keeps me coming back to you.”? I didn’t have a specific answer, so I just smiled and gave her a kiss.

She thought about it for a while and then she said, “You’re way too comfortable to me.”? I had to wonder if it was true.? TR37 claims that she has never been this comfortable with anyone else in her life.? No matter what I do, she feels comfortable and safe with me.? The problem is, I don’t share that mutual feeling.

There have been too many times that I have dealt with her emotional backlash.? It seems that every time she wants to get close to me, it falls apart within 2 weeks.? I realize that and I can’t forget it.? She has always maintained that it’s because she’s scared.? I just don’t believe that.

42 15234016 No Morning Sex?

TR37 claims that I’m just her sexual fix every couple weeks.? It’s because she doesn’t feel like I want to date her.? This is where we disagree.? Over the last 2 months, I’ve called her to go to a baseball game, nature trail walk, and meet for dinner.? There’s always a reason why she can’t make it or doesn’t feel like going.? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was married.? When I mention how many times I’ve attempted to do non sexual activities, she gets defensive.? So I have decided to leave it alone.

Of course the night turned into a sexual encounter.? As always, the sex is good.? It’s not the Magical Poon, but it’s good.? Our sexual encounter started around 11pm and finally ended early in the morning.? We both laid there relaxing and watching one of those sexual enhancement infomercials.? That’s when all the pieces came together.? I’ve thought about it before, but I just ignored it.? I never see her in the morning.? She never wakes up next to me.? I’ve watched her leave at 2am, 330am and even 4am.? I have never opened my eyes to the sunlight with her next to me.? I assume believe if a woman truly loves me, they would have to wake up next to me on a semi-regular basis.

I mentioned this to her and once again she’s defensive.? Her excuses are legit, but there’s not much difference between 4am and 7am.? Seriously, I wake up with morning wood and? I enjoy morning sex as much as the next guy.? That’s not the issue.? I realize that the emotional connection is missing.? To me this is a SIGN that she only wants to bitch out me and not do anything about it.? The only thing I see for the future with TR37 is a FWB relationship.? I don’t see her actions matching what she says.

Am I the only person who loves morning sex?? Does morning sex automatically violate the FWB rules?? What time does the FWB visitor card expire.. 3am.. 4am..or 7am?

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Tagged as: interracial dating, morning sex

Article by Eathan

Life long interracial dater and father of two.  Currently resides in Dallas and socially active in the DFW area.  You can connect with Eathan on Twitter and Facebook.

Eathan has written 539 awesome articles.

  • I don't think there's anything at all wrong with morning sex. It can actually be quite invigorating.

    I have to say I agree with you that she has someone at home that she has to answer to. I have been on both sides of that FWB equation and her actions are definitely that of someone who has a more significant other at home.

    Ride it out and have fun until you either replace her or find the woman that wants to wake up with you in the morning and put a smile on your face! :)
  • Angyka
    Hey everyone... My BC always wants me to sleepover and if I'm stepping out the bed he always ask " What u doing babe?" as if he were afraid to see me leave.. : S We have amazing sex, it's the best I ever had. We've been f*ucking each other over a year now. The thing is when I sleepover, when we sleep after sex, he cuddles, he kisses me on my chin, my shoulder and he says Hummm babyyy !!! And we spoon, taking each other's hands.. He talks to me a lot saying that he's so confused in his life, blablabla personal shit and emotions, stories bout his ex, he makes me feel a little more than a booty call and that's dangerous bcuz he seems to play games at the same time to make me believe thats more than sex.

    But when I'm gone, it's over, I'm just a nobody. So.. WHy is he making this so emotional?? He knows I don't want him as a bf! And he doesn't want a relationship anyways cuz he says he always cheat.
    Oh my god somtimes I'm about to go crazy and just cut all ties with him cuz he's making it s real game, stupid game. BTW, he has psychoogical issues, panic attacks, etc. THat I know. And he said to me last night that he doesn't care about people, like if he didn't have any feelings.. that he has a split personality and thats why the day afer he's a different person and don't give a shit about me.. lol
    COME ON!!! lol
  • Well if he has issues...that might be the problem. ya never know.
  • Angyka
    Yup, that's why it's so confusing... Do a man would go that far to get what he wants from a girl? I mean.. it sounds crazy..
  • Cilla
    Glad to hear it--I'm sure your audience is eager for an update (hint, hint).

    If I missed an early post on Crazy Vic, I apologize--I'm still slowly working my way through your archives, being new to the site.

    I've had two BPD relationships. One was a 5-year LTR, so it hit me like a Mac truck--I had no idea what the disorder even was. I was ready for the other one--still stung though. In fact it was almost worse, because I had that much more to overcome to put myself out there again after #1.

    My question is: do you think gender or certain cultural norms make it easier to miss BP in a dating relationship? Are men trained to overlook a lot of "drama," expecting it from certain types of women? Do cultures that encourage more effusive or demonstrative behavior make it tough to detect someone who is overly engaged in a relationship or perhaps too needy?
  • Cilla
    This is off the topic of morning sex, but I was thinking about an ex of mine and it called to mind your push-pull relationship with TR37. Have you ever wondered if she has a mild borderline personality disorder?

    Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is usually the result of childhood trauma or neglect and causes poor sense of self and issues with intimacy. BPs crave the intimacy and security they were denied as children, but can't deal with it once they actually get it; hence, the push-pull nature of their romantic relationships. They usually have other issues as well, such as impulsivity (food, sex, shopping, drinking, etc.), poor boundary perceptions, sometimes self-injurious behaviors. They often hide things from their partners or tell lies to cover what they know is not normal. They are usually very self-centered and when confronted about relationship problems will deflect and place blame on their partners or make excuses.

    I'm not a shrink, but it did make me wonder. If she is BP (and it's a spectrum disorder, so people can have varying degrees of dysfunction), it's virtually impossible to have a normal relationship. Trust me, it's better to know it early than to get more involved and find out later. I know you've put her on the BC list, but it seems like you guys always get back together again after a while apart--another hallmark of BPD--it's called "hoovering," sucking a person back into the relationship.
  • Yeah...I've dealt with BPD before.. I have a ex that is that, aka Crazy Vic. I'm not too worried about TR37 much... there's a story behind it. I just haven't updated everyone on it yet. ;)
  • Amanda
    Morning sex is AWESOME! :o) I love waking someone up by strategically placing my hands/or other body part. hehe He always wakes up with a smile on his face as we go at it... no words... and then when we're done... laying out on the bed, we say Good Morning. :o) Great start to a great day! :o)
  • I gotta say, I'm not so much for the morning sex. I feel gooey and nasty all day. I like crazy drunken night sex best :)

    <abbr>Julie@Cool Mom Guides last blog post..He Says?</abbr>
  • Jennifer
    I must say I know what she is talking about feeling gooey and nasty all day. I drip all day after that morning sex. But it's worth it to me cause it's the best. I love waking up to sex.
  • You don?t like morning sex? Is that because it hasn?t been done right? Nothing says good morning like.. doggie style sex to hide the morning breath. haha
  • sicilian girl
    ...i must let my boyfriend read this cause when we start dating i would leave his house at 3 am every night.so he was like do u got somebody home waiting for u.?.do u got a hubbie ?..and stuff like that..i didn't have anybody i just didn't want to sleep over his house ... i gave him a lil piece of me everynight and when the clock said it was time i left , he would invent everything to make me stay but still i needed to go i can't explain u why but i guarantee he wasn't my booty call i wasn't using this guy ..well it didn't last that much at the end i slept over and when he first saw me in the morninglike : he was like damn u still look hot i was scared u looked ugly cause i never saw u in the am...That was funny. i thought i would share that with u.

    anyway give the lady more time don't push her!

    sorry for my bad english ( as the name says i'm from sicily)GOOD LUCK!
  • Thanks for sharing... a guys worse nightmare is going home at 2am with a 10..and waking up at 10am with a 2. We have to verify the beauty with morning sun.

    I can't push her... this has been going on for almost a year... so she's had time to adjust.
  • sicilian girl
    ...goin home at 2 am with a 10 ..and waking up at 10 am with a 2..This is funny!!
    well sorry i didn't know u r seeing this woman for so long ..this change things then ..a year and u never saw her in the morning????!.....well maybe she is a 2. MOVE ON!
  • I love morning sex! The only reason I leave or kick him out is if I'm trying to protect my heart. If it's truly FWB, I don't give a shit so we can spend the night. If I'm protecting my heart, it's because I sense that he is closed off and I don't want to get too cozy.
  • I'm thinking everyone loves Morning sex! I can't think of a better way to start the day off. :D
  • Cilla
    Agree with the PPs: she is a booty call, barely a FWB. I would have to say I don't see a FWB spending the night--not really part of the contract, so to speak.

    Too many people dismiss morning sex as a nuisance, something they don't have time for, instead of seeing it as a way to stay more connected with their partners throughout the day. To me, one of the signs of a good relationship is the presence of regular morning sex. In fact, that's where the emotional connection gets manifested much of the time.
  • I must admit that if someone claims to have a emotional connection and they don't spend the night.. I call Bullshyt. For some reason, spending the night is a direct violation of the booty call rules. FWB can spend the night because there are some social benefits of the relationship.

    Maybe I need to write on the differences of the booty call and FWB. ;)
  • You know that would be a great blog topic bro! Differences between Booty Calls & FWBs...
  • Eathan TR37 treats you like a "booty call" and although she claims to feel one way--her actions don't align up with her words.

    You have communicated your thoughts and faced things head on like an adult should but her pattern is the same. If you are looking for something more, then its best to either leave her alone or file her in your memory bank as the "booty call."

    Now that's my opinion--and I approve this message...lol

    <abbr>Shelias last blog post..Contests Reminder</abbr>
  • I agree Shelia... She has been placed in the 'booty call' column. oh yeah...

    I approve this message... (paid for by the friends of Eathan campaign) ;)
  • I LOVE morning sex!!!! Sometimes its better than night sex!!!

    If I get a chance to have sex with anyone then I make it last as long as possible so will stay over! I dont see why you cant have a FWN that stays over? Or even for a whole weekend of sex?

    Do you know for sure she isnt married? Cos it all sounds a little odd!
  • I love morning sex too. Normally extended sleep over create problems and the chance of emotional attachment. I've been torn on how this situation is developing.

    I have been invited over to her place... I would guess she's single. There are times when I wonder if there's more to the picture.
  • My FWB always go until the next morning, with morning sex, and that's how I roll!

    <abbr>Lances last blog post..What Is Intimacy, Anyway?</abbr>
  • That a good way to roll. In the past I've been known to cut it short before dawn.
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