The IR Dating Coward

by Eathan

Lately I have been reading and hearing about black men that I consider Interracial Dating Cowards.? I normally don’t call anyone out in disgust, but this time I have to call it like I see it.? It became very clear when I was watching The Tyra Banks Show.? Yes, I watch daytime TV while I work.? This particular show was about a black man who had a white girl friend.? His ex is still in his life and he’s still in love with her.? The ex is a black woman.? That part doesn’t bother me.? As most of you know, I encourage exploring your dating options.? The part that bothers me is the 2 sets of rules, based off their race, he has for the women.

I refer to him as the typical Interracial Dating Coward.? The IR Dating Coward will have sex and live with the white woman.? He will openly admit that when he dreams/imagines getting married, it’s to a black woman.? WTF?? How is it that the IRDC will father biracial children with a her and yet not commit to her on some level?? How is it that the IRDC will spend years having a relationship and never take her “home to momma?” I have always been proud of my dating choices.? I’ve never hid my passion for beautiful and intelligent women of all races.

The IRDC is a myth if you ask the white women that love them.? Maybe they just don’t know what to listen for.? The term that refers to this action as ‘keeping it in the hood.’

42 18736444 The IR Dating Coward

I realize that men will be men.? When it comes to sex, it’s practically impossible to turn it down.? I also realize that one nighters or short term hook ups exist.? The thing that I don’t understand is how someone will play house and then flip when they want to have a serious relationship.? I can’t take the IRDC seriously.? To me, I compare it to being a vegetarian and sneaking out to have steak/meat when no one is watching.? Are they worried about what their friends or family might think when they find out?? Maybe it’s the backlash they might get.

I have to admit that there are times when I run into the same thing when I’m dealing with a BV.? There are times when they want to have fun on the sly, but not a serious relationship.? The only difference is if? a woman gets pregnant (not by me of course) and has a brown baby, they can’t act like it never happened.? She has to break the news to her friends and family.

I decided to write about this topic today, because there are women who don’t realize their black lover won’t go the distance.? I have to admit that I feel bad for some of these women.? It’s not easy for anyone to end up heart broken.? But I have to also point out some signs to know if your black lover is ‘keeping it hood.”

1.? You have not met his mother/family in the first 6 months.

2.? He only goes out with you outside of his neighborhood.

3.? If you have only met a couple men in his family.

4.? If you feel like he is hiding you from his friends and family, he probably is.

I have a message to all IR Dating Cowards, it’s ok to take the white girl to the hood.? It’s easier than you think.? If you are happy dating outside your race, go the distance.? Why half ass it?

So I have to wonder, how many of my readers know an IR Dating Coward?? Are they just interested in sex and fall into a relationship?

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Tagged as: Cowards, interracial dating, interracial dating coward

Article by Eathan

Life long interracial dater and father of two.  Currently resides in Dallas and socially active in the DFW area.  You can connect with Eathan on Twitter and Facebook.

Eathan has written 539 awesome articles.

  • Nad
    Good comment from you, because it raised the question Am I still in a relationship? Probably not much.

    He is a great guy but so difficult to figure out. I love him though and that's not easy.

    I guess my head is thinking too much and needs a break now. Time for my work out.

    It was nice to exchange with you. Take care Eathan.

    Ciao!

    Nad
  • Nad
    Well,

    I found your article as I was searching for an answer to "why I was never invited at my boyfriend?s home or at his community activities?". It?s not my first interracial relationship but my first one with an African American man. I am from Canada. My story goes like this: I?ve met him on a train almost a year ago. We got very close, very fast and connected well physically, intellectually and spiritually. We used to commute together and see each other frequently but at my place only. Few weeks ago, I moved further away from him and changed work so we speak everyday but barely see each other. What really raised questions is that my new job is close to his house so it would be easy for me to visit him. However,I'm still not invited. I often felt strongly excluded from his community and family activities. I guess now I know why. Well it`s hard to swallow but it is better for me to know. So thanks I guess. Nad
  • I'm glad you found the site Nad. There are several possible reasons..but I think the IRDC explains the behavior of a lot of people. In one way or another, they are cowards. Sometimes they don't realize it as clearly as you do.
  • Nad
    Well,

    Thanks Eathan! I'm glad I found the site too.

    Now I almost feel to test him and ask him why he's never invited me in his house. Like you said, there might be be other reasons. Well actually, there are some that I know but still,... See, I like to leave space to my boyfriend. I want him to be with me because he wants to and not because he feels he has to. I absolutely hate to beg for a man attention. So I don't like questioning him so much. This time maybe I should. What do you think? Nad
  • If you feel this relationship is worth it.. then leave no stone unturned. That way you have no regrets. :D
  • ModelTrainGuy
    I've never been one to hide her from my friends (exept childhood but that was long ago).

    Yes, I have dated outside my race, too. It never bothered me...but it does bother Black Women. It does nothing to make me change my mind about such relations...but can do more harm than good to the Black Woman.

    Think for a moment. It may NOT be a date. The lady I am with could be just a co-worker and she like to chat with me. Or...we just happen to ride the same bus/train together.

    On top of THAT - often I have ridden the bus/train alone. Countless Black women avoid sitting beside me it's not even funny.

    I can tell you, I'm no IRDC. I find it sad many guys can or are IRDC.
  • That avoiding the brotha happens more often than most people think. No matter who you're dating.. you shouldn't hide at all. It's not being true to yourself.
  • totally unrelated but i saw this and thought of you and your site.
  • cool..i checked it out
  • soulbone0521
    You've got a reall good point Eathan. Why be with someone when you don't own up to the fact that ya'll are together... It's just like being a relationship where there is no trust. With that situation if you just want sex, then keep it at just that.
  • Yeah... I've watched it happen..and I'm always amazed at how it happens. They can get the sex with out having any attachment... but they fake the funk is what i've always called it. Just another way to be on the d/l.
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