Divorce And Holidays

by Eathan

The holidays can be one of the most stressful times of the year.? It’s very stressful for many divorced parents.? Usually divorced parents take turns with the kids every year.? One year you have the kids and next year you don’t.? Here in Texas, normal divorces allow you to have your kids every other Thanksgiving and? half of the Christmas holidays.? That may be the fairest thing for everyone involved, but it’s not the easiest.? That means it’s tough to travel for family holidays.? It means that you have to coordinate the weeks events around the dreadful kid-swap.

As a single parent, I do the exact opposite of what most parents do.? I allow Alpha & Dirt Bike Boy to stay with their mom.? They get to spend the day with grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins.? They get to eat Grandma’s stuffing and pies.? They can take their time and relax.

bw divorce family105214719 std Divorce And Holidays

Why would I do this?? I tried the every other year for holidays and it’s no fun.? It’s always some type of scheduling conflict with other family members.? No matter how you plan the week, it never goes according to plan.? So as a way to decrease stress in my life, I let them go with the Ex.? Problem solved.

Over the years, I’ve taken them during the holidays on special vacations.? Dirt Bike Boy and I went to Disney World during Thanksgiving 3 years ago.? Alpha Boy and I did a father/son camping trip.? Both of those trips are still talked about every year.? They are burned in their memory.? The one thing they can’t remember is Thanksgiving at Grandma’s last year.? It’s just a normal event, but the trips with dad are memorable.

So every year during the holidays, the boys will call me.? They always tell me what they did, who was at dinner, and what their favorite Cowboy player did during the game.? This year we had an added bonus, the Texas Longhorns played also.

So on Friday, the day after, Dirt Bike Boy and I went to the movies.? We decided to see Madagascar 2.? Friday was our day to hang out.? We had a big bucket of popcorn, candy, and an Icee.

When it comes to the holidays, I don’t have to celebrate it on exact day.? I’m flexible.? I’d rather have a caotic free holiday and enjoy every minute with the boys.? If you’re wondering what I do for the holidays, stay tuned.? I will give more details in the next few days.

If you’re a divorced parent, what type of things are you doing to make sure the holidays are stress free?

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Tagged as: christmas, divorce, holidays, Parenting, Thanksgiving

Article by Eathan

Life long interracial dater and father of two.  Currently resides in Dallas and socially active in the DFW area.  You can connect with Eathan on Twitter and Facebook.

Eathan has written 539 awesome articles.

  • Don't discount your time with the kids! I used to let my ex have the kids on every long weekend. Pretty soon, though, I realized all their picnicking memories were being made with her. I now take them half those long weekends, and while I don't have the extended family she has, my kids and I are creating our own memories.

    We do the every-other Thanksgiving and Xmas routine. It sucks, but what doesn't suck around holidays and divorce? lol

    <abbr>dadshouses last blog post..Miley Cyrus Nude Photos Not a Mistake</abbr>
  • I spend alot of time with my kids..
    It was different for me when I grew up. I grew up with both parents (not divorced), but we traveled during the holidays. So I've never attached at date with a holiday. We had Thanksgiving dinners on the days when our travel schedule allowed. And most of my friends did they same thing. Even if it was going to Colorado for a ski trip or the Bahamas... sometimes having that "Thanksgiving Thursday" wasn't the important thing. Our tradition has always been differnt..lol

    What ever works for your situation... as long as the kids are happy.
  • Dawn
    My divorce didn't happen until the children were adults, my son was 18 and my Daugter 22.....this was a few years ago, my family is in Texas and we live in Missouri for all the years. the main thing I wish for the holidays is my children could have been around my family more over the years....my family is large,loud and much more fun,than my ex side(not that they are bad just different), I tried to keep the family influence going from my side thru the years and I think I did a great job that might be part of the reson for the divorce.
  • Sounds like you have a fun family. I bet the family reunions are fun too.
  • Cilla
    Good for you! My son spends every other Christmas with me and every Thanksgiving with his dad. We could alternate Thanksgiving, but frankly, the holiday is not a big deal for me (I don't spend it with my family--they live too far away). It is a big deal, however, with his dad's family. Family members fly in from the east coast and they have an entire weekend of eating, movies, theatre, sleepovers, etc. It doesn't seem fair to deny my son all that fun just to even the holiday score. Since we've been doing it for a while, I've become used to having a four-day weekend to myself. On Thanksgiving day, I visit with a few neighbors, cook just for myself, and enjoy the free time to read or watch a movie. On Friday, I get a manicure, do a little shopping, etc. My son comes back to me on Sunday night, full of stories about his cousins and all their weekend antics. Rather than take one day of the year to express our thanks, we make a point of finding things to be thankful for on other nights throughout the year when we are together.
  • That's awesome. I hear tons of horror stories about people who fight and argue over 'the day'. I think it's crazy. You can celebrate any holiday any day of the year. It's what you make it.
  • I think your compromise says fair and that you are thinking in the best interests of your children. As long as you are getting the chance to make up the time with you children, I think you have a pretty good solution.
    Best to you for the holidays,
    Singlegal

    <abbr>Singlegals last blog post..What Was Missing</abbr>
  • Yes, I get plenty of time with my kids.. so they don't feel like they are missing out on anything.
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