If you’ve been following me on twitter and payed close attention, you might have noticed that I mentioned something that Alpha Boy told me last week. ?I normally speak to Alpha Boy every few days. ?One day last week he mentioned that they were moving into his mother’s boyfriends house. ?Even though it’s only a block away, it’s still a move. ?It was the next sentence that gave me a brief snicker.
Mom and Preston (white guy) is getting married. ?I wasn’t shocked. ?I know his mother and this was expected. ?So I began to have a brief discussion with him regarding his thoughts. ?In his normal tone he said, “I get a bigger room, past that…I don’t care.” ?We talked about it for a while. ?He and I took this opportunity to talk about our relationship.
Since the end of his mother’s last relationship, I have made sure he and I stay connected. ?I’ve often told him.. ” no matter who is around, I will always be your Dad… no one can/will replace me… I will always be your Dad. ”
Even during this conversation he said, “you’re always my dad… and I know you’re always here for me. ”
Part of the problem started during her last serious relationship/marriage. ?Her ex spent a lot of energy trying to push me out of Alpha Boy’s life. ?Over several years and thousands of dollars he was unsuccessful. ?It made my relationship with Alpha Boy stronger. ?Alpha Boy was resentful towards him for trying to replace his Dad. ?When his mother got divorced, he was estatic. ?He told his mother that no one could replace his Dad, no matter how hard they tried.
It was a sad, but proud time for me. ?I was also sad that he endured such a tough time. ??I was also proud he was so strongwilled at such a young age. ?Since then, he’s made some interesting comments regarding his mother. ?He’s lost respect for her in a lot of ways. ?He’s mentioned to friends, “she doesn’t have a type (attraction type)…she just wants attention.”
So throughout this ordeal, I remain a fixture in his life. ?I keep reminding him that I’m not going anywhere and reassuring him he doesn’t have to worry about anyone replacing me. ?Since Alpha Boy is 14, he is to focused on school, sports and his own social calendar. ?He spends most of his time away from home, which limits any potential problems. ?He also has made it clear to his mother that our relationship is a priority.
Even though I date on a frequent basis, I’ve never exposed my kids to casual relationships. ?I’ve always kept those of parts of my life seperate. ?And I’m happy that I’ve done that. ?Raising emotionally healthy kids is more important than any date I couple possibly have.
I’ve read/talked to plenty of women and men who are get totally bent out of shape when they find out their ex is getting married. ?They protest for several reasons. ?It could be out of jealousy. ?It could be they are controlling. ?Or just out of fear. ?Either way, I just shake my head that someone would expect their ex to put their personal life on eternal hold.
How do I feel about his mother getting married? ?How do I feel about her getting married to a white guy?
I don’t care if she get’s married or remains single. ?I don’t care if she marries blue, green or yellow. ?I want Alpha Boy to be a happy 14 yr old. ?I’m happy if there is a healthy atmosphere, where ever he’s living. ?If he doesn’t have it at her house, then i’m sure he will want to live with me.
How did you handle it when you found out your ex is getting married? ?Did your ex freak out when you got into a new relationship? ?Did your kids adjust to stepparents easily?
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