Every day I’ve been hearing about the state of the economy. ?It’s getting depressing for many of my friends who have been victims of corporate cut backs. ?What’s even more depressing are those who are situations that can’t change over night. ?I know at least 3 different couples who are going through breakups, but because of the economy can’t afford to move out. ?I know it’s sad, but it’s true. ?As many more people are experiencing tough financial decisions, it takes two adults to make things work and a few good rules.
Recently, I reconnected with SWS39. ?After 2 years of being in a relationship, she and her ex have decided to go their separate ways. ?That wouldn’t be a problem, but they purchased a new home last year. ?Not only is there no equity in the home, neither one of them can afford the home on their own salary. ?I know what most of you are thinking, why can’t they work it out? ?Why can’t they just sell the house?
The housing market isn’t strong enough for a home in a new housing development to sell without a major loss. ?I’m sure most of you don’t want to throw away 20% of your home value. ?That makes their decisions even tougher. ?It seems like maybe they should work it out. ?Well that’s out of the question also. ?As most of my regular readers know, there are issues of trust and faithfulness.
After a long discussion with SWS39, I gave her a few options. ?I suggested her looking for a roommate to share expenses. ?I suggested searching Craigslist and Roommates. ?I also suggested that she spread the word amongst friends and family. ?The problem with that theory is cost to a roommate is expensive. ?It would a pricey move, unless someone didn’t care about the cost.
As a last resort, they could convert their relationship to a platonic roommates. ?Is this feasible? ?Is it possible?
My automatic response is, “Houston we have a problem.” ?I can’t imagine living in the same house with the woman that I just broke up with. ?Most circumstances leave both parties upset, mad and emotional. ?Generally it’s not a good situation. ?I’ve always been the type to do whatever it takes/costs to move on. ?I’m not trying to be the guy on the evening news that had the ex chase me down the street, throw my keys or call the cops when she’s mad. ?Break-ups are a risk that goes with any relationship.
But if you’re trying to save your credit it can work if you have some basic rules.
Thanks to SWS39, I have a short list of rules. -
- Stay platonic
- The house is a sex free zone – no visits from anyone you’re having sex with
- Each others bedroom and bathroom is off limits
- Continue to pay your share of the bills
- Respect each others feelings and space
- No house parties
- No arguments – try texting or email
With this list of rules I have to admit, it could work. ?I’m sure like the average single black man in Dallas, her ex will just come home to sleep and play video games. ?He will probably spend his free time at the gym playing basketball, out having drinks or chasing another woman. ?On the other hand, SWS39 will spend most of her free time doing yard work, shopping and visiting me.
As much as I would like to think that I would never be in their position, it could happen. ?With the current economic conditions, everyone is evaluating things. ?Recently I stayed at Dirt Bike Boy’s house with his other siblings, while his mother was out of town on business for several days. ?It was strange, but everyone made it work. ?I played video games, watched movies, and cooked with my ex-step kids. ?A few years ago, this would’ve never happened.
So I have to ask, would you live with your ex if you had to? ?Has the economy changed your relationship choices?
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