Last week I got a phone call from my parents. ?They called to say they would be in town and wanted to see Alpha Boy and Dirt Bike Boy. ?I’m shocked. ?They travel extensively and yet they only visit every few years. ?If you haven’t noticed, we don’t get along and we haven’t for almost 13 years. ?As many of you, I live my life and raise my kids by my own ideals.
Originally I decided that Alpha Boy would hang out with my parents, Dirt Bike Boy and I would opt out of the family reunion. ?But on the day that was planned, I decided to go. ?The boys and I met my parents at one of the local malls. ?I figured that would be a 1/2 point from my sisters place, where they are staying.
The boys and I got their early. ?They arrived shortly after and met us at the food court. ?Over the next 2 hours the five of us sat at a table talking. ?It was tense at times, but overall it was good. ?The most difficult thing is that Alpha Boy has a long relationship with his Grand Parents, but he also remembers what made us go our separate ways. ?On the other hand Dirt Bike Boy has only spent a few hours with them on 2 previous occasions.
Alpha Boy shared all the highlights of the last couple years of his life. ?He talked about school, friends, sports, and ect. ?Dirt Bike Boy’s conversation was directed more as a conversation with his brother, because he doesn’t know them. ?So they basically played 20 questions with him. ?As I sat that and watched the boys talk about everything in their life and all the things they enjoy doing, it hit me.
No matter what my parents think of me or what they thought I was doing wrong, they can’t deny that I’m a good Dad. ?It’s evident by the how much the boys laughed at each other’s funny stories, hospital trips, accidents, make money schemes and such. ?Just about every story they told ended with “Dad took me to the hospital” or started with “Dad helped us.”
Towards the end of the visit they asked if the boys could visit during the summer. ?I almost laughed out loud. ?Alpha Boy announced he was playing in 2 basketball leagues during the summer and Dirt Bike Boy followed with a potential jet ski filled summer announcement. ?I didn’t have to say any thing. ?They both found a way to say no politely.
This was one of the few times that my parents seemed to be catching on. ?They didn’t seem to force the issue and realized that we’re happy. ?The boys and I posed for a couple pictures. ?That way they could show them to the rest of the family. ?They seemed disappointed that they don’t even know their own grand kids.
As the boys and I walk towards the car, I can only think how different I’ve raised them and how much I love them. ?Even though I’m divorced, I spend a lot of time with my boys. ?I’ve remained active in all of their interests. ?I’ve made sacrifices to make sure we stay together. ?I’ve always motivated and guided them to excel to meet goals.
It’s hard to understand how they’ve missed so much. ?There are times when I feel sad that my kids don’t have the same type of relationship I had with my Grand Parents. ?And then the rest of the time I understand that there is nothing I can do. ?They will probably spend the next 10 yrs trying to establish a relationship that won’t develop. ?It would’ve been so much easier if they had been here before.
At this point, I am only here to protect Alpha and Dirt Bike Boy. ?That is my number one goal.
When I grew up, I cherished my grandparents. ?I spent summers with them. ?I talked to them on the phone. ?I even lived with both sets of them when I graduated from high school. ?My grandparents seem to hang the moon. ?I thought they were super human. ?There are still days when I miss them. ?I don’t see the same emotions from my kids.? They see their Grandparents as distant and out of touch.? Because of circumstances, they are happy to see them and happier to see them leave.
Do your kids have a strong relationship with their grandparents? ?Do they spends summers with them? ?How do you handle it when grandparents are absent for your kids life?
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