If you’re dating outside your race, you’ve probably had that one defining moment when your family realized that you have a black boyfriend.? Lots of times this can happen around holidays, birthdays or some other family gathering.? As you might guess, it doesn’t always go according to your plan.? There are times when you meet the family and they are really cool people.? There are other times when you meet them and they totally flip.? Either way it’s probably one of the most discussed thing among women who are expanding their dating options.
So here’s the scenario.? You’ve been dating your boyfriend for several months.? You’ve mentioned him to your family, but you never divulged that he was of another race.? You’ve mentioned how great he is.? You’ve talked about him having a great job and how much he loves you.? You’ve even told your family that he treats you like a queen.? Your family is happy for you and they are ready to meet him.? So you set up a weekend trip to visit and introduce them to the new love of your life.? And the weekend starts like the following video.
I have to be honest, I laugh every time I see that movie.? I can only imagine what Richard Pryor was thinking when he wrote it.? The funny part is there are families that react the same way all the time.? They seem to be excited until they find out that he’s black.
The last time I dated a BV and I met her family, it was almost like the movie.? The young cousins thought I was a rapper from BET or a athlete from the NFL.? The mother had the look of, “he must’ve put the wang-a-dang on you.”?? Their siblings are pulling up chairs and popcorn to watch the excitement.? It’s her dad and crazy ass uncle that you have to watch close.? They seem to be the ones that might want to kick your ass if they were 50lbs heavier.? Sound familiar?
As crazy as this sounds, it’s real.? It happens.? As the black man that has been in that situation, make sure you remember and sing every line of Lynard Skynard’s Freebird.? (just joking)? The biggest problem with dealing with ignorant family members is, no matter what they will still be her family.? You can’t cuss them out.? You can’t fight them.? You have to deal with them in a calm and relaxed manor.
I’m going to list a few tips for meeting the shocked family -
- Stay calm and confident. You can only aggravate the situation by reacting negatively.
- Don’t be a afraid to show how much you care for your date.? Most families want to see each other happy.? If your date is happy with you, it will make it easier
- Do your home work.? You should talk to your date before you arrive to know something about the family.? You want to know who likes fishing, sports, college football team, and ect.? It’s very important to be able to talk about common interests.
- Don’t talk politics or religion.? I always avoid these 2 topics.? Even the best of friends can argue and fight when discussing these two things.
- Avoid conflict.? Meeting the family should be complicated or difficult, but if things become to intense you can always leave as a final option.
If you’re still nervous about meeting the family, you can always invite them to your place.? It makes it harder for someone to act foolish away from home.
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