This time of the year my dating flood gates always open. It seems once the school year is over single moms are looking for a date. In the last 2 weeks I’ve gone on 8-9 first dates. And in normal Eathan form, I had 3 dates on Saturday. Yes, I said 3! I had a lunch date, a happy hour date, and a late night Starbucks date. And as crazy as this sounds, I still had time to get some work done. I won’t bore you with all my date details, but one of them seemed to rub me wrong more than the others.
Saturday afternoon I decided to meet DA40 for lunch. DA40 and I have been chatting online the last few days. She initially found my profile on yahoo personals. But since I wasn’t a paying member, I never replied to her. A few days later she found me on another website. So it seemed like we were destined to meet. Amazingly we had plenty in common. She grew up in the the Chicago area, about 40 minutes from where I lived. We both have the same passion for sports and kids. And of course we both date outside of our race. When DA40 and I began chatting, I mentioned that I won’t ever meet someone without seeing a full body picture. A few minutes later I had 5 pictures of her. At the time, I wasn’t sure why she was so secretive. But oh well.
DA40 and I decided to meet at Buffalo Wild Wings in Lewisville. It was around noon when we both arrived. When I first saw DA40 I was relieved that she looked exactly like her pictures. I was attracted to her. I immediately thought she had dating potential. She’s 5’4″, shoulder length blonde hair, green eyes, and medium build. She and I briefly hugged. I felt comfortable with her, but at some point it seemed odd. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I got a weird vibe.
We ordered our food and kept talking. Our conversation shifted from each other to our kids. I didn’t mind. I enjoy talking about Alpha Boy and Dirt Bike Boy. And she enjoyed talking about her 2 kids too. But it became apparent during our conversation that something wasn’t right. I knew that her ex-husband isn’t apart of her kids life. I knew that she works a full time job and a part time job. And then she mentioned something that made me raise a eyebrow.
I mentioned that Alpha Boy was spending the afternoon at his girlfriend’s house. She looked at me and said, “you allow him to do that?” I told her it was OK with me. He wasn’t there alone. Her dad and step mom was there. There are also 2 other siblings with Alpha Boy. DA40 looked at me like I was a Muslim eating a pork sandwich. ”I’d never let my son do that.. and he’s older than yours”, she said. I was shocked. Her comments seemed extreme.
Within minutes I was turned off. I could tell there was no way I could date her. Our parenting styles are totally different. I’m not a controlling parent. I consider myself as a parent who has spent the last few years guiding my teen son. I trust that all of the direction and guidance I’ve provided him will help him make the right decisions. Of course I don’t let him roam aimlessly, but I have a good idea of what he’s doing.
DA40 and I ended the date with a brief hug. I didn’t give her the hand on the hips or around the waist hug, I gave her the high shoulder hug. I’m sure she realized that it was my ‘friend’ hug.
Is there a big difference in parenting styles among white women and black men? How important are parental styles to your dating options? Would you date someone who doesn’t agree with your parenting?
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