Guest post from?Priscilla San Remo.? “How to draw the line between sexy and psycho” is the subtitle for Kristina Grish’s book The Joy of Text. Sounds like the subject of Eathan’s recent post, entitled “She Imploded My Phone,” should have given this one a good read before hitting the cell phone key pad. With catchy chapter titles like “Is That an Exclamation Point in Your Pocket?” and “Modern Is Not to Be Confused with Sociopathic,” Grish’s primer on “mating, dating, and techno-relating” is a must read for anyone who is even thinking about conducting a relationship via airwaves or cyber space.
I confess when I re-entered the dating scene about a year ago after an almost five-year absence, I was a text message virgin. I had an iPhone I used for phone calls, emails, and cruising the Internet, but I had never even touched the SMS function.? When I started dating Gage, a business owner from out of town who spent a lot of time seeing clients near me, I received my baptism by fire:
WTF? What was that weird noise? Who was this on my phone? I quickly checked the area code and realized who it was.
Whatcha doin’? I’m in town… wanna grab dinner?
OK, I returned, what time?
Little did I know I had already condoned several cardinal sins of dating.? For one thing, Gage should have called. Using a text message to ask someone out on a date is almost never acceptable. Second, he was texting me the same day he wanted to meet. Invitations to dinner should be extended at least a couple of days in advance, if not earlier.
Grish’s book doesn’t address these faux pas as much as how to deal with nosy secretaries with access to their bosses’ accounts, what to do if you send a text to the wrong person, and how to interpret all those crazy emoticons you see at the end of your messages (or why you might not want to use the “surprised” face because it looks just like the “I’m climaxing” face).? She provides advice for all kinds of cyber situations from email to IM.
While I really just wanted to become more adept at messaging, The Joy of Text got me thinking about a host of issues surrounding electronic communications. I was reminded of the boyfriend who conducted a three-hour text message session with me but wouldn’t dial my phone and talk to me. Was he with someone else?? Out in public? Just lazy? Then there was the guy who wanted text sex during what was supposed to be our first get-to-know-you-after-emailing-on-Match phone conversation. Oh yeah, and the numerous exes who still send generic text message blasts to all their contacts on every holiday. And the guys I hardly know who think nothing of making my phone beep repeatedly in the wee hours of the morning. And the ones who resurface after no contact for six months or more with a phishy “Tag! You’re it!” Arrrrgghhhh!
Clearly the potential for egregious abuse of the medium exists. What’s your worst text message story? Have you ever broken up with someone via text message (or been broken up with)? Have you ever used text message “infractions” as a reason for ending a relationship?
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