Kiss Me You Fool!

by Jerri

Guest post from Jerri.  So …I have been kinda seeing this guy now. I like him. And he’s way hot …just one thing… he doesn’t like to kiss (!??!)  The first time we kissed, I initiated it and he claimed I almost took his lip off.  Afterwards I spent much time thinking he just wasn’t into me since he never kissed me and I didn’t make the first move again.

Now I have heard of this before but I have never experienced it. A friend I had growing up had a dad like that. I remember her mother complaining about it.  She said he didn’t tell her he didn’t like to kiss until AFTER they were married.  Why wait until after getting married to spill the beans?  I would want to know as soon as possible.

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It’s just a natural progression to me and it begins with a kiss. Without kissing, it feels awkward and impersonal to me to do anything else.  He says “Black guys don’t kiss like that” Wrong buddy!

I have kissed plenty of black guys, white guys, and brown guys….YOU don’t like to kiss.  I called him on it and for using a stereotype (granted one I have never heard)

“Yes they do,” I said, “Some do and some don’t… some white guys do and some don’t

YOU don’t like to kiss.”  Ok so he admits it…Now what?

I do really like him, but can I live with it?  Can I not take it personally, not feel impersonal? Should he do it for me? Should I go without for him?

I get like one kiss out of him each time we’re together.

What do you guys think?  Is this more common than I realized?  Is he just not that into me? Or maybe I do kiss too rough…

Is it more prominent in one race versus another?

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Tagged as: dating, interracial relationships, Kissing

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  • The only stereotype I've heard is the one Daryl mentioned.. Kissing definitely is a guage for seeing how things are going. A woman that isn't able to adapt to kissing styles is a deal breaker.. Some can pick it up quick, but it takes being able to adapt and learn what the other likes. Although it makes this even better when they just click.

    Screw that stereotype, I'm a black young man and I Love Kissing!!!!
  • I see that you have cut him loose. I am a black man and never heard of that stereotype. The only stereotype that I have heard for years that WE DON'T DO is "nibble below the navel" and trust me, that is a damn lie too.

    It is a very intimate part of a relationship (to me). I always found that kissing is part of the foreplay (working each other into a frenzy). If he can't get the motor started, then you need another jump.

    <abbr>Daryls last blog post..Why Do You Want the Country to Fail?</abbr>
  • I was with a guy, years ago, that did not like to kiss. It definitely made being intimate feel less personal, less...INTIMATE. It became a problem for me because it did make me feel like a booty call and we were together for four years. I guess since things ended it isn't much of an issue but if it were to arise in the future, maybe trying to kiss differently might make a difference? I think different people have different preferences in kissing and maybe softer kisses or kissing with less tongue may make it less daunting to someone. I know that I'm less likely to want to kiss a guy that has a sloppy, wet tongue...

    <abbr>Andreas last blog post..What are these?</abbr>
  • Jerri
    Yeah, well, we've since parted ways for other reasons. I was kinda upset but now I'm glad to be reminded how it wasn't really working for me anyway....
  • I've always rated the intimacy of a relationship based on if we kiss or we don't. So if a woman didn't want to kiss.. she's automatically a booty call.
  • Priscilla
    OMG, my deepest sympathies. I could NEVER date a man who didn't like to kiss (or wasn't good at it). It's a deal breaker for me. To me kissing is a "gateway drug" for other activities. If a guy won't kiss for a while, he's not going to move on to the "harder stuff" (pun intended). ;-)
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