It’s almost inevitable for me to date interracial and not meet the elusive BV, aka Brotha Virgin. Last weekend I had a date with a BV that shined the light on the fear of the different generation. As most of you know, I’m in my 30′s. So I have the pleasure of dating younger (20′s) and also older women (40′s). And I will admit that there are still lots of old school thinking when it comes to interracial dating.
Last week I received an email from a beautiful blond in her late 40′s. Believe it or not, she lives in southwest Fort Worth. That’s about 45 miles from me. And as I’ve said before, that makes her geographically challenged. But I was willing to make the exception. We exchanged several messages over the next few days. It was during that time she revealed that she’s never dated a black man before.
I’ll share a story with you… Back in the early 90′s I used to work at the corporate office
for P. Vision. I was an administrative assistant in the franchising division. Anyway,
at the headquarters was this black guy about my age named Tracye . Gosh,
he was sooo cute – great smile, great personality… the whole nine yards.
Well, he asked some of my girlfriends at work if they thought I’d go out with him. I
really WANTED to say yes but honestly… my dad would have killed me. Yes, I was
grown and all but I always thought…”ok, what if I really liked him? I could never take
him around my family, they’d have a fit!” So I just said no to him liking me.
(Obviously, this impacted me to a certain degree because I still remember his name
after all these years.)However, now my dad is deceased and I’m STILL thinking this admitted archaeic and
neanderthal way of thinking. Completely stupid and illogical I know… Honestly, I hate
this part of myself. I’ve often thought, “what’s the big deal Lori… go out with a black
guy… live on the wild side!” But I just can never get my nerve up.
See? I’m probably more trouble than I’m worth:)P.S. Is it “black” of “African American.” I want to be politically correct here. But
frankly, I’ve always thought that the latter takes wayyyy too much time to say. Black is
just quicker. lol
After several emails and a couple phone conversations, we decided to meet. Our meeting place was Jason’s Deli in Grapevine. As usual, I arrived early. A few minutes later, LF48 walked in. She looked much better in person that she did from her pictures. She 5’2″ tall, blond shoulder length hair, and blue eyes. I couldn’t help but smile, because she has such a beautiful smile. We briefly hugged. LF48 is divorced with an adult son. We began sharing out likes and dislikes. Our passions and our turn offs. We realized that we have a lot in common. But there still seemed to be an invisible wall between us.
After sitting chatting for a few minutes it became apparent that LF48 was still a bit nervous. I could tell she was curious, but was too apprehensive to let her mind relax. She admitted that this was her 1st romantic meeting with a man of another race. I had to smile, because I knew our meeting was probably one of the most uncomfortable things she’s done in years.
When it was time to leave, I walked her to the car. I had to decide if I wanted to give her a kiss or just leave her wondering and curious. I decided to leave her wondering and curious. I could tell from her body language that her heart was racing. She had that “oh shit” expression on her face when I leaned over and gave her a farewell hug. And with a brief sigh of relief, she hugged me back. After leaving I called and told her I would love to be friend with her, but I think romance is out of the question. She said she felt the same way. But the truth be told, she’s one of those that will have to spend time around someone before she comfortable.
Is dating a black man really “living on the wild side?” Should I continue to flirt and stay in touch, with the hopes of her giving into her curiosity? Oh yeah, is it Black or African-American?
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