Comments on: The Sex Free Time Zone http://idatewhite.com/2009/07/03/the-sex-free-time-zone/ Sat, 20 Mar 2010 09:50:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Jen http://idatewhite.com/2009/07/03/the-sex-free-time-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-5652 Jen Wed, 29 Jul 2009 20:21:00 +0000 http://idatewhite.com/?p=2414#comment-5652 OMG! I think you read my mind lol I am a woman with a high sex drive, and while sex is not my number one priority it definitely is an important factor in me finding a long term relationship. Everyone I've talked to on this subject both my female and male friends tell me wait, wait, wait...."he won't even consider you long term if you sleep with him too soon". Really? Will I be written off because I'm a woman that knows what I want and am not afraid to go after it? And I'm not saying I am willing to sleep with every guy that I go out with by any means, but if everything is clicking why should I have to wait x amount of dates to see if things click in the bedroom too? OMG! I think you read my mind lol I am a woman with a high sex drive, and while sex is not my number one priority it definitely is an important factor in me finding a long term relationship. Everyone I’ve talked to on this subject both my female and male friends tell me wait, wait, wait….”he won’t even consider you long term if you sleep with him too soon”. Really? Will I be written off because I’m a woman that knows what I want and am not afraid to go after it? And I’m not saying I am willing to sleep with every guy that I go out with by any means, but if everything is clicking why should I have to wait x amount of dates to see if things click in the bedroom too?

]]> By: Brawnx http://idatewhite.com/2009/07/03/the-sex-free-time-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-5552 Brawnx Tue, 14 Jul 2009 19:57:11 +0000 http://idatewhite.com/?p=2414#comment-5552 Sex is great, why wait?!? LOL Joking! I think there are too many variables to put a general rule on this one. I can tell you one thing, it is possible to have built up a sexual chemistry with someone and let it build and build only to be let down once the moment comes. Man thats a sad sad moment Sex is great, why wait?!? LOL Joking! I think there are too many variables to put a general rule on this one. I can tell you one thing, it is possible to have built up a sexual chemistry with someone and let it build and build only to be let down once the moment comes. Man thats a sad sad moment

]]> By: Michelle http://idatewhite.com/2009/07/03/the-sex-free-time-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-5502 Michelle Tue, 07 Jul 2009 15:05:02 +0000 http://idatewhite.com/?p=2414#comment-5502 No, but should I? There is my dilemma. No, but should I? There is my dilemma.

]]> By: Andrea http://idatewhite.com/2009/07/03/the-sex-free-time-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-5496 Andrea Mon, 06 Jul 2009 20:31:48 +0000 http://idatewhite.com/?p=2414#comment-5496 I know for me that if I know and intend it to be casual, I can have sex as soon as I want. But if it's a relationship, I'd rather know that I can stand that person before I start adding complicated points to the relationship. Does that make sense? LOL. <abbr><em>Andreas last blog post..<a href="http://auntieannwrites.blogspot.com/2009/07/thursdays-pre-vacation-links.html" rel="nofollow">Thursday's pre-vacation links</a></em></abbr> I know for me that if I know and intend it to be casual, I can have sex as soon as I want. But if it’s a relationship, I’d rather know that I can stand that person before I start adding complicated points to the relationship. Does that make sense? LOL.

Andreas last blog post..Thursday’s pre-vacation links

]]> By: Eathan http://idatewhite.com/2009/07/03/the-sex-free-time-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-5492 Eathan Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:40:50 +0000 http://idatewhite.com/?p=2414#comment-5492 Those are some interesting points. It seems that the reason women always give is.. they don't want it to be just a sexual relationship. And since we have FWB, I'm sure they started out on a sexual level and never grew past that. Those are some interesting points. It seems that the reason women always give is.. they don’t want it to be just a sexual relationship. And since we have FWB, I’m sure they started out on a sexual level and never grew past that.

]]> By: Eathan http://idatewhite.com/2009/07/03/the-sex-free-time-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-5491 Eathan Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:38:03 +0000 http://idatewhite.com/?p=2414#comment-5491 Do you keep a FWB around while your dating other men or are you exclusive right away? Do you keep a FWB around while your dating other men or are you exclusive right away?

]]> By: Eathan http://idatewhite.com/2009/07/03/the-sex-free-time-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-5490 Eathan Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:36:19 +0000 http://idatewhite.com/?p=2414#comment-5490 I think it's common to hook up with the ex. It's a familiar person to take care of your needs. I'm amazed at how women hide their sexual needs behind the mask of a relationship. I think it’s common to hook up with the ex. It’s a familiar person to take care of your needs. I’m amazed at how women hide their sexual needs behind the mask of a relationship.

]]> By: Andrea http://idatewhite.com/2009/07/03/the-sex-free-time-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-5489 Andrea Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:57:41 +0000 http://idatewhite.com/?p=2414#comment-5489 I read this article by Mikko Kempe, which I swear I saw him on a comment here before: http://relationship-journal.com/2009/06/16/do-men-just-want-sex-should-my-decision-be-to-wait-or-not-to-wait/ I think he makes some interesting points that guys may want to ponder. Since sex is not the ultimate goal, it should be put on the backburner until a relationship can be established. Obviously, we go out with people because we find them attractive for one reason or another, but getting into bed right away doesn't ever answer any significant questions. It can just complicate finding out those answers. I think it's fine to have casual relations (although dating and having a FWB seems...odd...to me) but if you and the girl you are seeing are sleeping with OTHER people, that needs to be resolved. Only she can tell you why she's choosing not to sleep with you. Of course, the rest of us would like to know, too :) <abbr><em>Andreas last blog post..<a href="http://auntieannwrites.blogspot.com/2009/07/thursdays-pre-vacation-links.html" rel="nofollow">Thursday's pre-vacation links</a></em></abbr> I read this article by Mikko Kempe, which I swear I saw him on a comment here before: http://relationship-journal.com/2009/06/16/do-men-just-want-sex-should-my-decision-be-to-wait-or-not-to-wait/
I think he makes some interesting points that guys may want to ponder. Since sex is not the ultimate goal, it should be put on the backburner until a relationship can be established. Obviously, we go out with people because we find them attractive for one reason or another, but getting into bed right away doesn’t ever answer any significant questions. It can just complicate finding out those answers.
I think it’s fine to have casual relations (although dating and having a FWB seems…odd…to me) but if you and the girl you are seeing are sleeping with OTHER people, that needs to be resolved. Only she can tell you why she’s choosing not to sleep with you. Of course, the rest of us would like to know, too :)

Andreas last blog post..Thursday’s pre-vacation links

]]> By: Michelle http://idatewhite.com/2009/07/03/the-sex-free-time-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-5482 Michelle Sat, 04 Jul 2009 15:59:26 +0000 http://idatewhite.com/?p=2414#comment-5482 Wow!! I had to respond to this post because this is an issue that I struggle with all the time. I used to belong to a dating site (AFF) and while I was on there, depending on sexual chemistry, would have 1st date sex. My strongest belief is that women are not built like men to have 1st date sex and not get attached. I would, no matter how hard I tried, get attached to the guy and then would not hear from them after the second or third date. I do realize that we all have sexual needs. I have a high sex drive and like sex a lot, but I don't like the feeling afterwards like I'm being used. I think it is so different for me, being a black women who is attracted to white men, to have a white man like me for my personality and not for what I can do for him between the sheets. So, my reasoning for avoiding sex now is because I don't want to feel any more emotional pain. I would like to go out with a guy on a date, have a good time and hope that he will ask me out on a second date and in time, will eventually have sex with him. To me, it just seems like that dating progression is old fashioned and non-existant among guys, especially white men who date black women. Wow!! I had to respond to this post because this is an issue that I struggle with all the time. I used to belong to a dating site (AFF) and while I was on there, depending on sexual chemistry, would have 1st date sex. My strongest belief is that women are not built like men to have 1st date sex and not get attached. I would, no matter how hard I tried, get attached to the guy and then would not hear from them after the second or third date. I do realize that we all have sexual needs. I have a high sex drive and like sex a lot, but I don’t like the feeling afterwards like I’m being used. I think it is so different for me, being a black women who is attracted to white men, to have a white man like me for my personality and not for what I can do for him between the sheets. So, my reasoning for avoiding sex now is because I don’t want to feel any more emotional pain. I would like to go out with a guy on a date, have a good time and hope that he will ask me out on a second date and in time, will eventually have sex with him. To me, it just seems like that dating progression is old fashioned and non-existant among guys, especially white men who date black women.

]]> By: MindyMom http://idatewhite.com/2009/07/03/the-sex-free-time-zone/comment-page-1/#comment-5475 MindyMom Fri, 03 Jul 2009 19:22:53 +0000 http://idatewhite.com/?p=2414#comment-5475 Very intersting post. Since I recently broke up with my LT bf and am back on the dating scene I can relate. Going without sex sucks! I don't have a FWB (and no prospects) but I have hooked up with my ex twice since we split. I don't think that will continue tho. When I'm dating and looking for a serious relationship I do think waiting to have sex is the way to go. I think you can tell whether or not there is chemistry w/out actually having sex but that it shouldn't be acted on too early. My question is - am I more likely to jump into a relationship too soon just because I want sex? <abbr><em>MindyMoms last blog post..<a href="http://singlemommindy.blogspot.com/2009/07/what-week.html" rel="nofollow">What a Week!</a></em></abbr> Very intersting post. Since I recently broke up with my LT bf and am back on the dating scene I can relate. Going without sex sucks! I don’t have a FWB (and no prospects) but I have hooked up with my ex twice since we split. I don’t think that will continue tho.

When I’m dating and looking for a serious relationship I do think waiting to have sex is the way to go. I think you can tell whether or not there is chemistry w/out actually having sex but that it shouldn’t be acted on too early.

My question is – am I more likely to jump into a relationship too soon just because I want sex?

MindyMoms last blog post..What a Week!

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