White Women Don’t Trust Black Men?

Personally, I think these issues are in any and all social/racial/cultural circles. I have dated one white guy, and can honestly say that he was an awesome, faithful, attentive, thoughtful boyfriend, probably the best boyfriend I've ever had. But when he asked me to marry him, I immediately felt that I could never marry him- but it was a difference in cultures, not color that made me say no. I think that when it comes to intimacy, similar cultures work best. If he'd come from the world I was accustomed to - being black or white-I know I would have said yes.

I partially agree with you.

The issue is that the values that women (black or white) expect from men are different from the values of men. Most women want to be loved, taken care of and have guys who committed to them. What commitment means to each woman is a topic for another day.

On the other hand, men are influenced by 3 forces, namely:
-Sex
-sex
-and sex.

It is fact that sex plays a very important role in man's life. All the advertising campaigns are designed to provoke the sexual appetite of men.

Returning to the issue of black men being cheaters...it is a fact...and it cannot be argued. In the black communities, money, power and sex plays a dominant role. Look at the music videos, as and example. Every Johnny sings about "the amount of money they have, the cars they drive and the women they sleep with". This obsessions greats a society of black men who crave sex at any given time and moment. That is why black men...(sorry for generalising)...tend to be caught cheating.

White men, cannot be let off the hook. With ever growing number of strip joints in the "white" neighborhoods, this shows that white men are also cheating, but are able to hide their activities. The escort agency and pronographic industries are largely sponsored and supported by WHITE middle-class and white wealthy business men.

Lol....When will ALL of you learn. These issues pertaining to black men are NEVER going to go away. For all of you that believe the numbers theory, since they don't lie, ask yourselves 'who compiles the so called numbers that don't lie?'. Secondly, is it now safe for me to then say and believe that white men who have grown tired of their wives )and children too for that matter) and have found interests elsewhere will eventually kill or 'get rid of' their ENTIRE family the majority of the time, or is it just me that notices this habit...lol. I know...its just me. I personally love it. While the mainstream media (which is run by who...hmmm) has you idiots so focused on the black male's every move, they continue to sharpen the knives, load the guns, plot and scheme on their white women (and again everyone else for that matter) and you clowns are SHOCKED and shaken to the very core when it happens. I wonder why? Shit is hilarious. Most of you don't have the tits nor balls to call it what it is...to hell with the smoke n mirrors. If you smell a rat, it IS a rat, not probably. And most of you white women that have no idea about perception NOT being reality when it comes to what you think you hear, read and see plastered everywhere about the terrible, evil black man will probably be the next casualty of your white husband. This will probably strike close to home for SOMEONE on this post. I love how some of you moronic women say that one of the biggest differences is that black men just aren't as discrete about their filandering and cheating. Now if that doesn't sum it up, I don't know what does. I won't even bring up documented episodes of white males that are not only unfaithful but will actually tell their idiot wives that 'you aren't going anywhere, sit your ass down' because what you white people don't understand is, you're not as smart, shrewd and even discrete as you think. Now come on, argue with me.....all of you!

Can't trust a black man in a relationship, period. They get more props fro being "players" than responsible men. They have had a pass to act like children and not take responsibility all of their lives. Black women need to focus on dating me out of their race if they want a stable family and morals.

think about it, right now black men are at the top of their "game" . they are the hyper masculinized men in the media with the ripped muscles, the bad boys, the rappers, the ballers. I'd like to see those BM who are the scientists, researchers, innovators and business owners get just as much press. Women are discovering black men now in a way that was not possible 30/40 years ago. I think the tempation is too much for many.


black men are very well known for chasing women! let's be honest. not that white guys don't. or any man for that matter. The thing is, black men are often not as discreet about their practices, and they don't mind picking up and leaving home if they find something outside they want. Many other men will maintain a veneer of well being and stay with a woman they don't love and run around on them.

a 60% percent out of wedlock brith rate in the American BC doesnt lie ( im not putting this all on black men) nor am i saying they are ALL t his way, but right now they are a hot commodity .


Many white women are obviouslly very attracted to them, and one thing white women don't understand is how smooth some brothers are, a weak ass woman will get ran over , she has to be on top of her game. Think about it Why should a black man who generally loves white chicks settle down, when there are 15 more behind her who are looking at him? For him to commit, he has to be in that mindset, it has to be about love and compatibility,a s in any relationship. I know of white women are alone with their biracial children and who in turn are bitter about BM, the very ones many of them chased down . I also know of loving stable relationships between BM And their W wives. It's all about what you are really after i guess.

Black men are no more unfaithful than any other races of men, it just have something to do with one's preconceived thinking and what we have been represented as.

When it comes to Black men and Black people as a whole, they are put under a microscope, while it seems that what ever " crimes" Whites and others races commit are overlooked. Ther is so much double standard when it comes to it. For example(s): Dogfighting have been a Part of Southern U.S. culture for years, yet Mike Vick becomes the poster boy for P.E.T.A. According to a golfer's wife, their golfing husbands' have been promiscuous long before Tiger Woods, yet who get's the reward for being such? --he does. There are a lot of men who are wife abusers yet, Chris Brown get's that " honor". Unfortunately, what ever is posted on TV, or what negativity is told about Black men are what people believe.

Yesterday, I was on my way to shop and I came across a older AA man and his much younger White Russian friend. As they were talking, I noticed the manner in how they were talking. The AA man seemed civil. On the other hand, the Russian Guy, was another story. he had the most filthiest mouth, a serious drinker and to the point that his mom had to send him to foster care because of it. He's also very possessive of his Black girlfriend and kid. As I was looking/listening to them talk to each other wondering what was the thoughts of her parents possibly knowing that she's with this guy?" There is no way would I let my daughter near this guy. I much would have rather been around his Black friend. The Russian friend had terrible character. "Unfortunately", I thought, if people were asked to who would most likely to rob you on the streets, it's wouldn't be the Russian guy. because a lot of pepole aren't open minded enough to be thorough and open-minded with their thoughts.

I understand where you are coming from. I do believe though that sometimes black people we are paranoid. We always think someone is out to get us. Black men think that someone is always trying to get them. The thing about universal law is that what you focus on is what manifests. If you think someone is out to get you, then it will happen.

There is no different between men at all, Some are bad some are good, I hate when stereotypes get in the way, and plague one group of people, Just as Many White men beat and leave their woman and children as black men do, But why are black men singled out? I think the media has something to do with it. All im saying is that some people are good some are bad, We should truly stop classifying a certain group of people of being a particular way, it just doesn't make any sense.

Doc Culo, from my experience, black men aren't better lovers, they just think they're better lovers(just like the bigger thingy issue, which does get annoying). Like I had sex with average sized men who thought they have a big instrument and I noticed that black men in general think they're well endowed, even when they're just average. About not trusting, 75% of black children being born out of wedlock and a lot of them growing up without a father does give one a reason to not trust fidelity, BUT and this is a big but, even if you judge a group in a certain way, it doesn't mean every individual in that group is in that way. Like supposing that the majority of black men cheat or are violent or whatever, it doesn't mean that Ethan, for example, is like that. If you don't know him, you can say it's more likely for him to be in that way due to the group he is part of, but that doesn't mean he actually is.

I think I get the mian point of your reply which is that group statistics say nothing about individuals. However, the first example is the common error of making correlation=causation. If 70% of children born to black mothers are born out of wedlock that doesn't mean all the fathers are deadbeat. Some mothers are professional women who couldn't find a man and wanted a child (and chose to have one alone for their own reasons) or it could mean like some white women...that they went to the sperm bank...and no fathers come out of that no matter the color. It's disingenuous to say that black men have abandonment problems when the causes of oow births are "legion" (lol) and not all "bad." But I get the part about looking at individuals since that's what most people come into contact with anyway.

and you people are the reason the world is going to hell....stick to your own race geez

no racist A holes like you are the reason things are going to hell, LOL, doc culo, good points up there, i just wanted to say, you said " what if spanish people had went thru slavery" many of them did, there are more afro latinos than there are african americans, 54 million in Brazil alone, and we all know about the high rate of African blood in Cubans, Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, Colombians and many Hondurans. Im just saying, the slave trade was all over the place.

Let's transport ourselves back in time to the days of salvery. Have you heard the stories about white women secretly boning big black bucks behind MASTER's back? And of course MASTER had his secret swirl flings too (acccounting for all the light skinned house help versus cotton picker). My point is for a very long time black men have been viewed as sexual specimens. What if Spanish people went through American slavery instead of blacks? Would the black man still have the same sexual status as he has today?
Next. If you believe in the alpha male theory, I think there are more black alpha males than any other race. We may not have the numbers to compete financially with white men, but the bed room is a level playing field where black men bring a unique skill set. I'm referring to little things....greater sex drive, confidence, "accepting of a woman's flaws, bed room creativity, and even skin smoothness.
Last. E hit it on the head when he mentioned there are more available women in his hunting grounds, same applies here in the northeast. If you happen to be a black man, with your shat even somewhat together, it's open season, it's hard to pick just one.

If black men are alpha males, that means that they would be on top of the social hierarchy economically and in other ways. I am an african woman and I find that there is a difference between having a huge ego and being an alpha male. Alpha means you are on top. Ego means you wish you were on top. Big difference.

Sure, some black men have problems being faithful. I highly doubt that more black men than men of other races have problems being faithful. I don't think it has much to do with supply and demand, unless you live in a town where there is a severe shortage of one gender, and even then the internet is full of dating sites, adult match sites, chatrooms, and other personals sites where anyone with the urge to be unfaithful can do so via an emotional, cyber, or even phone affair. If someone, male or female, wants to cheat, he or she will find a way to do so.

As for the reasoning behind cheating, I'm sure there are many, and I'm sure none of them are valid (at least to me). People cheat out of boredom, fear, a need for attention, a sexual addiction, unhappiness in their current relationship, their partner's inability to keep up sexually, their partner's lack of upkeep as far as physical appearance goes, or anything else. Whatever the reason a particular person chooses, the act itself is still not right, in my opinion.

Why is it that Tiger Woods' drama is leading people to ask why black men cheat so much while Bill Clinton's drama didn't prompt people to wonder why white men cheat so often?

I trust black men as much as I trust any man. I agree with your criteria completely, as that is what I want in a man as well. My first black man had a pot belly and dressed like he was poor, but he wanted me to have my nails done and be made up like I was going out all the time. It has to be 50/50 on that one. If you expect me to wake up looking like a Barbie doll, then you can't wake up looking like Bob Marley after a bad night on the road. I'm not spending hours on my looks so I can hang off the arm of some man that looks like a reject from ghetto chic.

As for cheating, I've found that black men do seem to have a different definition of what constitutes cheating. For instance, having several female "friends" seems to be acceptable to them, but not for the women they are seeing. I won't say that's true of all black men. I've had some very nice ones, and some not so nice ones, about par with my experiences with white men.

Anyway, not being perfect, I have found that black men are much more accepting of physical flaws, such as NOT being model thin. They are more apt to look at the whole person, and that's why I prefer them.

HAHA@Bob Marley after a bad night on the road. That has my stomach aching now...lol

I agree that most black men are more forgiving for physical flaws. There are a few things that are deal breakers for me.. but in general I'm not as extreme as some white men that I know. I think the fit/athletic concept is different for black men as it is for white men.

So many brothas have a bad rep with relationships. Infidelity unfortunately runs rampant among some black men. They're out there and see all these gorgeous women who are attracted to us in turn. One woman isn't enough for us it seems. I am content with one woman. My requirements are few. I just a want an attractive, low-key woman with the same intellectual interests as me and a matching sex drive. I'm actually too busy these days to even think of handling more than one woman anyway haha.

So many black celebrities in the news have messed it up for the rest of us with so much ill-behavior. Be it Tiger, O.J., Lil Wayne, R. Kelly, Kanye or whoever. On top of that, there's always news of a black man cheating on his woman, fathering other babies outside of the marriage, deadbeat dads, abusive black men, gang violence, etc. All the stereotypes that have plagued black men seem to be rearing their heads lately because the media seems more focused on us now more than ever. Women equate these behaviors with us because it becomes a recurring story on the evening news. It doesn't help that you can turn on one of those court shows every day and see an interracial couple on opposing sides.

It's funny, I see alot of fear and apprehension in the faces of white women I come across. Even if I just sit near one, out of the corner of my eye I can see her looking at me but she refuses to look me in the eye or barely returns my greeting. Its like she's running all these news blurbs and stereotypes in her head but trying to assess where I fit in there.

I have to be honest Gary, that is a great comment. There is so many things in the media that makes it difficult to over come at times. There are plenty of us that will focus on one woman, exclusively. But those aren't the stories that make the evening news or Nancy Grace (#1 hated white woman on tv).

Well this is certainly not correct: Or is it because black men are such fabulous lovers, the white women can’t resist?

The reason a man cheats has nothing to do with the person of the opposite sex. If a man is in a relationship and a woman comes on to him he should put that woman in her place and shouldn't even be talking to her in the first place to get in that position.

ok.. so he doesn't or didn't put the a potential hook up in her place.. is that the reason why white women don't trust black men? And what is it about the black men that makes other women committ a girl on girl crime?

I understand your desire to defend Black men. Obviously they don't cheat more than other race of men. Those that believe that clearly have internalized racialized stereotypes. My issue with this post is the sexist demands place on the women to date you. They must shave their legs...really? You don't want anyone to believe that you perform racist behaviour and yet you demand women perform genderized behaviour. Think about that one.

yes.. I would expect a woman I date to shave their legs, among other things. Of course, I also expect them to brush their teeth, brush their hair and possibly wear those F*ck me pumps when we're out on the town. But that's just me. I've set my standard for what it would take for me to date one woman.

I'm sure you have standards for your dates too, right?