Recently I had a very intense discussion with a 28 yr old white female friend. She was very upset because her ex-boyfriend gave her a STD. I found out that she has genital Herpes. Like most normal 28 yr olds, she was crying and furious. As a friend, I simply tried to comfort her and show her that it’s not the end of the world.
After spending a couple hours with her, I thought of a couple issues that most people in her position consider. One of the most popular things is, when and how do i tell someone that I have a STD? I don’t have the exact answer for that. I realize that some people don’t want to disclose health issues too soon. I truly believe if you’re considering getting naked, you should tell them. It doesn’t matter if it’s a one night stand or a blooming relationship. Everyone deserves the right to know.
A couple years ago I met SF26. She and I had plenty of fun. One night we had a long talk and she told me that has HPV. Even thought it’s not the typical Herpes virus, it’s still something to be aware of. Naturally we took precautions and used condoms. But her honesty made me realize how difficult it must be for someone to admit that.
During my interracial dating history, I’ve met a few women who have a STD. The interesting that is, there are probably more people who have STD’s and don’t tell you at all. The stats say 1 in 5 people have an STD.
One of the interesting things I’ve realized is, perspective changes with age. I think people can be more accepting as they get older. I’ve heard stories of people being ugly, rude and nasty when they find out someone has a STD. Honestly there are and can be circumstances that are out of their control. Magic Johnson’s wife is one example. You can’t always control what your spouse/mate/partner does.
Would I date someone with a STD? It would depend on the STD & circumstances. I don’t think I’m the guy that would date someone that is HIV positive. But on the list of STD’s, there are some that I would consider to be manageable and less of a health risk.
Have you ever dated someone with a STD? How soon should you tell someone you have a STD? What are your thoughts?
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I can’t imagine how difficult it would be for someone to be dating and have an STD, even if it’s a minor one, the whole bringing it up in conversation has got to be awkward. Though you are definitely right everyone deserves to know. However, what’s even scarier is those people that have STDs and don’t even know it.
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The human body is an amazing creation, but I truly believe a “design” flaw was locating our reproductive organs too close to the anus.
No one really knows the true origin of STD’s, but because of the nasty skank hygiene of people, there’s a fertile playground of bacteria and infection between male/female pee pee holes and doo doo shoots.
Besides using condoms, keep your nether regions tip top clean.
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Gary O Reply:
February 21st, 2010 at 10:54 am
I’ve been weary of dating a woman who has an STD or even a history of STDs. But I know I have and Im glad I’ve worn condoms for most of my serial dating history. Most women will steer clear of a man whose had one even if he voluntarily confesses. Men aren’t so discriminating. If one of the Khardashian girls shows up on our doorstep at midnight in a micro-mini-skirt and some red pumps, are we gonna ask questions about hygiene or are we gonna tap that? I’ve been very lucky in my spontaneous moments when I’ve given in and had unprotected sex but generally I’m very careful in usually only going bareback with women I’ve been in committed relationships with. I’ve never had to make a confession of an STD before or during the courtships and the most any woman has ever confessed to me was a yeast infection. If I don’t know the sexual history of a women and I’ve gone bareback with, my first instinct after sex is to run to the bathroom, take a piss and grab the soap and hot water. It may come off as a bit of an insult and not very romantic but it’s too dangerous out here. Always make sure you drink lots of water and cranberry juice before and after too. That long piss will at least make her think you were more concerned at not pissing on the sheets than washing off any possible infection she may have.
One incident in my past is responsible for my good sexual hygiene. In my late teens, there was a white girl I was hot for from high school who eventually became interested in me. Back in school, she took a liking to one of the brothas on the football squad. They dated for a minute then it was done. I knew she had dated several more black guys since school because I heard many of them talking about how good she was. One night at a house party, me and one of my boys came across her, looking GOOD!! We were talking to her and she was very flirty and ready. She was particularly interested in me because she knew I liked her but never really approached her. Though I wasn’t a virgin, I could feel there was a rite of passage situation since alot of neighborhood guys had already layed down with her and bragged about it. I’ve always been a relationship kind of guy. I couldn’t get involved with a woman who had been passed around like she had, though I was really attracted to her in a big way. I could just never remove the feeling that she still belonged to all these other guys who boasted having gotten a piece of her. I declined but my buddy was more than willing to jump in. She wasnt really interested in him so much but to spite me, she grabbed his hand and dragged him to one of the bedrooms. He had apparently didn’t use any protection and a week later he was burning. Ever since then, I go with my instincts on such matters.
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