As a divorced parent, I have two boys that are 6 years apart in age. Alpha Boy is the oldest. He’s in high school. Dirt Bike Boy is the youngest. He’s in elementary school. Even though they look and act alike, they are from two totally different backgrounds. Alpha Boy’s mother is more hood than Dirt Bike Boy’s mother. Which basically means that Dirt Bike Boy’s mother grew up in a privileged area. And that reflects in both of the boys attitudes.
Recently the three of us were riding in the car. Alpha Boy was riding shot gun (in the front) and Dirt Bike Boy was in the backseat. I was driving in through our old neighborhood and I stopped at a stop sign. As I was waiting for a break in traffic there was a group of young black teens about to cross the street. They were dressed in typical urban clothing. A couple of them had basketball jerseys on, sagging jeans and matching hats. Alpha Boy and I were deep in conversation and listening to the music. As one of the the teens walked around the back of the car, Dirt Bike Boy casually leaned over and locked both of the back doors. I probably would have never noticed but I could see him in the rear view window. 
I immediately turned around and said, “what are you doing?” Dirt Bike Boy had a puzzled look on his face. I laughed and said, “I saw you lock the doors…you think someone is going to get you?” Dirt Bike Boy didn’t respond. Immediately Alpha Boy looked at the group of teens and began to laugh. ”I could take all of them… why are are you acting scared… that was the whitest thing I’ve seen all day.”
So now the our discussion turns to how much my “black” culture is lost because of interracial relationships. I’m sure there is a belief that because of my pursuit of interracial relationships, I’ve lost my black id. card. The one difference between Alpha Boy and Dirt Bike Boy is that Alpha Boy has spent more time with me. He’s spent time with me in 3rd ward & 5th ward in Houston. He was with me when we lived miles away from the suburban upper class.
As much as they are both my children, only one has the mentality to connect with both sides of his racial background. I’m sure Alpha Boy’s age has alot to with it, but he’s had a larger diversity in his social history. I’m starting to wonder if I need to spend more time with Dirt Bike Boy in urban envirionments. To let him become acclimated to other social scenes.
What are your thoughts? Do you think interracial relationships help or hurt your racial identity?
You might also like:
I~Swirl Apparel Now Available
Model-Ashlee Feldman
