Differences in Parenting

Yesterday I had something very interesting happen to me.  I woke up to a phone call from my son’s mother.  She seemed in a bit of panic and upset.  Immediately I began to think the worst.  After a few seconds into the conversation I realized it wasn’t a life or death situation.  But it there is a problem.  My youngest son is only 7 years old and for the last 2 months he’s had a obsession with a dirt bike.  He has been on the Internet looking at pictures.  He’s been picking out bike colors, models, and everything else you can imagine.  Now like any other 7yr old he’s keeps talking about a dirt bike.  He tells anyone that will listen that he is getting a dirt bike.  Now the for the last 2 months, my ex and I have been telling him that he’s not getting a dirt bike.  Bottom line is, it’s my decision that he doesn’t get one.  And I’ve made it clear that I’m not going to allow him to have one.  So now that you know the background to the story, I’ll tell you what the phone call was about.

 My child work up early on Saturday morning and decided this was the morning he was going to get dirt bike.  So he got on the computer, went on a website and purchased a dirt bike.  Yes, he did!  He took mom’s Visa debit card, entered all of her billing information, entered all of her contact information, and the card security information.  He completed the transaction.  The total was over $1100.  Now, he might have got away with this for a couple days.  Or at least until the bike was delivered.  A few hours later, she received a phone call from the company in California.  They are attempting to verify her order.  She was totally shock.  She canceled the order, of course.  And immediately called me.  Now I’m his Dad.  I always show moral support with his mother on core issues.  But this one has me scratching my head.  I didn’t hear him crying in the background.  I didn’t hear him whimpering.  I didn’t hear anything that would’ve let me know he was recovering from any type of punishment.

The phone call was to inform me of what was going on.  She also wanted me to punish him.  What?  Are you serious?  OK let me get this straight.  This fool took your debit card, ordered a dirt bike, and you’re calling me to punish him?  WTF!  Is he still within arms reach of you?

*Dream Sequence begins*  If I did the exact same thing when I was 7 yrs old to my Mom.  News flash! 20 years later, I can just remember my name.  I’m just learning to walk again.  I just gained feeling in my limbs again.  Yeah, I would’ve got a ass whipping that would’ve made  me a poster child for Child Protective Services.  haha  *Dream Sequence over**

So this brings me to a conversation that I have on a regular basis with my friends.  White moms are different from Black moms.  I know you’ve seen white parents fighting with their kids in the grocery store, the mall, and Walmart.  They invented time out.  You know where you send the kid to his room to sit down and think about what he did wrong.  FYI, that’s when your child comes up with their next plan of action.  Now Black moms do things different.  You’ve seen them at Walmart with a crying child following them.  Why?  Well Curtis Jr was acting up and he never saw the back hand coming.  Yeah, she got is ass back in line and quick.  I’m not saying that I believe one way is better than the other.  I’m not saying that I believe you should give your child a ass whippin every single time they do something wrong.  I’m not saying to give your child a time out every time they do something wrong.   And I’m definitely not saying to do harm your child.  But I’m saying there is 2 different plans of action and it appears to be based off of your ethnicity.

I guess what I’m getting at is, why call me to punish him?  The stunts that he pulls on her is NOT the stunts he pulls on me.  Matter fact, he asks me to use the computer.  He doesn’t know my passwords.  He knows my computer has restricted access.  He doesn’t even think about touching my wallet.  He knows grown folks will get jacked up for touching my wallet.  Honestly, I rarely have any problems with my boys.  Most of the time it just takes me talking to my boys to adjust their attitudes.  I reserve the right to corporal punishment, aka ass whippings.  But every so often he acts up with mom.  Every so often I think she needs to put her foot down and put his ass in check.

So how did this story end?  She had to run out the house to head to the bank before Noon.  So I texted her, “spank his ass”.  She replied she would when she got back home.  What?  Damn!  Once again, I don’t expect her to do it.  How long does it take for 3 good swats?  Am I expecting too much?

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